in Mom's going through divorce/separation/ breakups

Divorce HELP

Long story short, my husband whom I’ve known and been with for the past 3 years, is a compulsive, narcissistic, and manipulative liar. He’s a fake, conceited, cocky, scam artist. I didn’t pay attention to the red flags in the beginning. I got sucked in. Became codependent again. People-pleased. The “love at first sight” was actually just lust. We have a beautiful baby boy together. I’m 24, will be 25 in October. At this point we’ve been struggling and unhappy for almost a year now and have decided to get a divorce. He went to his attorney and has papers written up for me to sign but I do not like a lot of the stipulations in there so I’m not signing. I really cannot afford my own attorney. Legal aid won’t help me because it’s not “abusive enough” in my state. My soon to be ex husband said he would have the paper adjusted to what we can agree on, as long as it’s fair to both of us. I told him I didn’t care to split assets (50/50) as long as he allows me to move back to my hometown with our child. He’s got barely 17K to his name and I’ve been a SAHM. Our son is 1 year old. He wants the baby for Christmas break 2 weeks every year, summer break. And he wants to come visit the baby for 7 days at a time every 2 months. He also wants 3 hours of video chat a week… and he wants to only pay $474.00 a month in child support… how do you figure out what is fair and what to ask for? I would love full custody and to be paid much more than $474 because where I grew up & am moving back to is sooo expensive to live… any advice and support is so appreciated. Thanks 🙏🙏🙏💕 picture of me & my son bc I love him so much.🥹

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Going through a very similar situation at the moment. I haven’t got the answers you’re looking for as I have a lot of these questions myself but I’m based in the UK. Feel free to message me if you want to chat though 💜 we’ve got this!

His demands are unrealistic and unfair, definitely don't agree to those. Maybe try your local university, a law student may be able to help you not sure 475 seems likely too low. There is usually a child support formula to set an amount so try to look up how your state typically determines the rates. Asking every Christmas is unfair. That means your son would never get to experience a Christmas with his mom, he's not even thinking of the child at that point. Christmas and thanksgiving should be split and alternated each year. 3 hours a week of video chat is excessive and unrealistic to expect a child to do, especially an infant that can't participate and doesn't have an attention span for that. I'd say one hour a week with 3 brief goodnight calls a week. Summer break should be split 50/50 (or maybe 60/40). The 7 days every 2 months seems fine, as long as he can provide normalcy and an appropriate place to stay for those 7 days. Kid shouldn't be living out of a hotel going to school etc for a week.

I hear you ..I recently decided to break up with my partner . He is wanting half of the house and my organization ( disability provider) which is I worked my ass for . It sucks we have to go to lawyers . Can you chat to a relative or friend that knows a lawyer maybe ?

I will write them to search lawyers in your area some of them give you a free consultation so that they can give me better guidance. They also have Payment plants that could work with you don’t let and things will work out for you and your son.