Losing my patience- what to do!

I follow big little feelings on instagram they have lots of helpful parenting advice; they point out what is developmentally normal that all kids do like hitting, tantrums etc. they also make a point about being kind to yourself- we all lose our shit at our kids sometimes- no one is a perfect parent 100% of the time, every day is a new day and a new chance to start again. Also hitting: babies/toddlers do not have the impulse control to stop themselves- they want attention and they want it instantly so they hit /bite/scratch (my boy pulls hair 😩) best thing I’ve found is take their wrist and stroke your arm and say ‘gentle’ effectively showing the correct way to get your attention. Repeat 18000 times and they eventually get it and now my son will walk up to me and stroke my leg to get my attention. Don’t get me wrong he still hits/bites/scratches but he’s still learning. Good luck! Parenting is so hard it’s ok to struggle

I feel you my daughter is so clingy and it’s alotttttt it’s crazy because she does independent play at daycare but when she sees me she thinks I have to be right next to her, I honestly just let her cry when I’m in the shower but other than that I do have her right next me, I’m literally flying home ( my mom is in different state) next month just to get a break

My friend has this issue too. It was crazy when we were out and she had to use the bathroom and her daughter threw a FIT! And I was there with my daughter who is only 10 months apart. My daughter was like that a little, the only thing that helped me was to put her in her crib and let her cry it out. My mother said it’s different when they are crying for a need versus just wanting you there 100%. And that they have to learn that you won’t come every time they cry because that young they are learning and know that everytime they cry you will run so that’s why they continue. To me it was more of a cool down session than cry it out. And after I would always still pick her up and we’d do whatever. She still looks and comes to me for help or whatever she needs. Still happy child. But she’s learning that temper tantrums because mommy doesn’t want you in the bathroom or you can’t have mommy’s phone she’s using right this minute is not ok. But this is what worked for me.

My daughter is exactly the same. I think it is just their age, and they have all these feelings they dont know how to deal with. They are just learning. To be honest, I just let her come with me to the bathroom. I put her in her high chair at the bathroom door and talk to or play peek a boo with her while I shower etc. When she hits me. I just ask her to be gentle please, over and over and over. She still hits and scratches but not as hard anymore. When she takes things she is not meant to have, I try to distract her with something else. I know it is really hard but it wont be like this forever. I am really lucky that I have family close by, so I do get help. Is there any way you can put him in daycare for even 1 day a week to give you a break?

Also routine!!! Routine is also very important! Being very strict about what they do and when and being very adamant about it can help cut down on the tantrums. Children thrive off or routine.

ASD

@Lara 🙌🏻 lol what an insensitive way of introducing this thought.

@Sara this looks great I’m definitely buying!

@Rachael such a helpful comment thank you!

@Wendi very helpful 🙏

How is it insensitive? I’m just saying what I think it is

No this isnt how boys are. I also second routine and you need to start putting yourself first. I have a little boy and he’s 2 - if this was me, I would be leaving him in his room or cot where you know he is safe and get yourself ready. The hitting and smacking I would completely ignore and not give it any response. I also give my boy lots of options so it’s always things like mummy is going to brush her teeth now do you want to come and brush your teeth with me or stay here and watch bluey? Do you want to pick what shoes you are wearing? Options options. Boys like rules and guidance. I get him to help with everything. It’s really hard when you feel so mad I deffo have my days where I see red and I need my husband home asap but always remove yourself from the situation if you can. Does he go to nursery? What do your days look like? Xx

@Dais hey Dais It might well all be my doing as we don’t really have much of a routine as such, I just take it day by day. In the sense of, some mornings he has a nap others he doesn’t. Some days he has 3 or 4 naps and some days barely one. In terms of doing stuff, I do play with him here and there but I could play more stimulating games for sure. We go out some days, but other days we stay indoors for several days on end. In terms of his food I try to be consistent, but again not pushing it and following his lead more so. I’ve never let him cry for more than a few seconds before I’m with him, which I think is contributing to everything. I guess I need to take a hard look at myself before trying to point fingers at him 😔 No he hasn’t gone nursery before, but I’ve gone to view a couple nurseries in the lower week to explore the idea. I’m a stahm so he doesn’t need to go, but I’m thinking it might be to his benefit to go a day or two. I’m open to exploring this.

definitely the age my son does the exact same thing. i found this happens more with babies that are home vs babies that are in daycare. from experience with my 3 and also working in daycare. their day is more structured with being able to see peers their age effectively being “nice” and listening and things of that nature… you can call head start and have someone visit your home once a week to assist the both of you it’s a free government program that’s very well for children tbh

I can’t remember the last time I brushed my teeth or went to the loo alone, I have accepted those things😂 but I get you, it’s so bloody tough I have a 1 and 2 year old both clingy and don’t play together yet. Parenting isn’t for the weak, however, I’ve been told it gets better so hand in there hun 🙌🏼

Also to add, both my children did all of those things around 1 years old, my 2 year old will still throw food sometimes. I know everyone has different ways of dealing but the smacking/hair pulling I’ve learnt to say nothing, Simla pop my 1 year old on the floor and ignore the behaviour because she thinks it’s hilarious if I say no or anything for that matter. With food I ask my children if they are finished if throwing then ok then eat it nicely please, a second time I remove the plate x