Venting

Something my partner will never understand is how hard it is to clean the house by yourself with a toddler. This past weekend he did clean the house while I took the baby with me to a church event and while I did come back to a clean house, and I am SO GRATEFUL For this, the comment he made was “yeah it took me about an hour to do it all, I don’t know how it takes you longer 🤦‍♀️” again I had the baby with ME, so of course it was easy for him. Not only that but he has been gone all week for work and so there really wasn’t much upkeep, but I swear it takes me hours to clean jouse and keep it clean. On top of that I work from home so sometimes I am not able to keep up with the messes.

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Next time leave the baby with him and see how clean the house is when you come back 😂

@Rachel I really should!!!

I would have said that's great. He could do all the cleaning since you are faster. And maybe next time I could leave you the baby, and you can all at once. And you do my job at the Sametime. Because mommy needs a break

That would annoy me so much! They will never understand as far as I’m concerned. My partner mows the lawn once every two weeks. That’s it. That’s all he ever does. Maybe he’ll wash a few dishes here or there once every three months. We have two children. A teenager who does tremendously more than him and a two year old. He’s unemployed but watches our toddler while I work. I’m paying his back child support to keep his a$ out of jail. I rarely get any thanks and I never get encouragement. I’ve been sick for the last seven days with a virus and he has slept more than I have. He slept in until 2:30 pm on Sunday and about the same time today. And when we get into arguments he has the balls to say I don’t respect or give a $hit about him. If you can’t tell, I need to vent. I’m sorry you have to deal with issues with your partner too. I’m not trying to make my situation sound worse either. I just know how sometimes we as women keep things like this to ourselves. It helps to vent.

@J no you’re totally fine!! Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry you understand this on that level!!

It’s really hard meeting others who can relate to things like this. It’s reassuring but heartbreaking at the same time.

@J yes I completely agree! Like don’t get me wrong there are things he does do right, but we have so many conversations where it seems like he is capable of understanding where I’m coming from but it’s different. If I were to tell him something like “I won’t take birth control because it made me bald” he says “well I am bald too” it seems like he tries to compare issues and even in this instance, if he cleans ONE time I swear I’ve cleaned 5-6 but he wants a thank you on the ONE time??? Or wants me to notice his work RIGHT when I get home when I haven’t even exhaled? (It seems) it just plays into a lot of different things.

I get that completely. And yes my partner has in the past been more helpful but lately his excuse is that I’m the one who wanted more kids so this is all on me. Like he gave me one more child but there was some unspoken agreement that since I got what I wanted I have to do everything. It’s so exhausting trying to defend myself lately I just don’t say anything and feel like a doormat just to keep the peace.

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