Does your little one throw tantrums? WWYD?
I know it’s developmentally appropriate at 18mo, but I feel helpless as this seems very intense & multiple times each day. My boy is flailing, hitting (both on purpose & incidentally), slapping, pulling hair, kicking & screaming at triggers of “no” — pretty much everytime he isn’t getting what he wants. I try to have him take a deep breath, drink water, distract or distance myself but man oh man is it really difficult when he catches me off guard - it hurts. And I don’t know how to make him understand he’s hurting me.
Spanking feels wrong - like telling him don’t hit & then teaching him to hit. But he’s not listening to reason obvi even after calming down, although I try to name the feeling & action & set a boundary & tell him what he CAN do when he wants/is feeling xyz…
And letting him CIO/ignore doesn’t end the tantrum either. I’m feeling so overwhelmed. Also 13 weeks pregnant & ready to wean as I can’t take the pain & him throwing fits over wanting to pinch the side he isn’t nursing on anymore. It’s the worst. I love him so much & hate all of this!
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I don’t have any advice but commenting to say I am going through the same thing with my 18 m/o daughter. It’s rough, and I’m not sure how to “discipline” her either. I just try to divert her attention to something else like you mentioned. She loves these cheap sunglasses of mine from Amazon so I keep those handy as a distraction. 😅 I don’t know if she would understand traditional discipline at this age but am curious to know what others comment!
I'm going through the same, but I would say it happens the worst when she's hungry or sleepy - when those 2 basic needs aren't taken care of for whatever reason, her tantrums are the worst. But once the tantrum starts, I try to appease her in the moment by giving in if it is not harmful or disturbing others etc and then deal with the real issue at hand as soon as possible (sleep or hunger)
Validating emotions is great. Good job!! Next you will have to remove yourself when he starts to hurt you. You can either leave, telling him you love him and need to keep yourself safe. Or place him in a safe room and tell him he is not in trouble, but you are keeping you both safe.
My first went through this. I don’t know how long he did, I can’t remember. But I do remember being physically hurt and pregnant also.
My youngest is also going through it some (he’s 4, and it has been on and off during age 3 to now. But it was much harder at age 3 for him, I think bc both siblings of his went to school and he did not.). He does communicate his feelings well, but he does NOT want to do any of the things to mitigate anger (ripping paper, squishing a stress ball).
Today I asked him, when he kept trying to hit me, if he wanted some alone time. At first he said no. Then he changed his mind. So we split up and he did calm down.
The one other thing he likes is to
“Blow me away”. This is just to trick him into blowing out a lot of air so he can breathe better. He blows out air, and I lean back a bit and say “Oh nooo you blew me into the toilet and there’s pee in it!” “Oh noooo you blew me into the trash!” “Oh noooo you blew me into outer space!”
It doesn’t always work, but it works sometimes.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. And pregnant. It’s really hard, I know.
The last thing I would say is if you can, check out Dr Becky’s stuff (good inside with Dr Becky). She has a program on “Deeply Feeling Kids” that I never bought, but her other stuff helped me! So that might be something to check out.
Solidarity and love to you in this rough time!
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