Disappointed, isolated and concerned

Well, my daughter’s 3rd birthday is coming up and it already looks like it will be another year with most people declining. I want so much for her to have friends to play with, but nothing I do seems to work. She’s a wonderful little girl I just wish other moms would give us a chance and other kids would give her a chance. I enrolled her in ballet and music classes partly because she’s passionate about those and probably because I wanted to see if I could make some friends for her. Unfortunately, she gets really worked up about wanting to go on the obstacle course without waiting in line and throws a horrible tantrum when I hold her back. She’s supposed to be learning to wait her turn and none of the other kids act up. She always hits me and pulls my hair and even tries to choke me in front of all the other moms and kids. I’m fairly certain that this is why they don’t wanna have anything to do with us. I try to react with patience and calm but sometimes I scold her with anger in my voice, because her hitting me hurts me emotionally and physically and it’s very embarrassing and sometimes I just can’t take it in addition to everything else going on.) Well, probably this is why I don’t have any mom friends and she doesn’t have any kid friends to play with. I feel so isolated and alone and I feel like I’m failing her. Before being a mom I used to be able to make friends so easily. I always had a fun social life, and could adapt to new environments easily, and make new connections. Now I feel like there’s just something that makes people turn away and I can’t figure it out. Of course, no one will just be honest. It’s so dissapointing to plan a very special party and have every one decline. But it’s even worse because I can guess the reason why and I don’t know what to do about it🥺 I love my daughter more than anything else in the whole world and I just want her to have happy life with joyful interactions with other kids. But I admit that I also want some kind of connection with other moms, and I admit that I just wish that she and I could be accepted and liked in these circles.

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first off, i’m so so sorry you’re feeling this way :( tbh if i saw you do what you described in person, i would totally still wanna be your friend. i always feel like everyone is judging me when my baby cries in public or he’s taking forever to be consoled or how i hold him etc and it gives me so much anxiety. but lately i’ve been trying to not let it get to me… also, i remember growing up and if my little brother or i were acting up she’d remove us from the environment completely and say something like “do you want to go to the car” i was so nervous about what might happen at the car that we’d stop immediately or she’d say if we act up then we have to leave.. idk if that’s the best parenting advice but it did tend to work. i hope this is just a phase with her and things get better soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️ you got this mama! you’re doing a great job regardless 🥰

Reading your post broke my heart a little! Just wanted to send you a virtual hug. I’m a first time mom to a nine month old, and I was completely unprepared for how lonely and isolating it can be! I know it’s gotta be so hard to deal with the tantrums, but from what I understand, tantrums are a completely normal part of child development, especially at 3 years old. I know in the moment it feels like she’s the only one throwing a tantrum, but I GUARANTEE the other kids throw tantrums too at different times. You seem like a wonderful mom and your daughter is lucky to have you. In my short time being a mom, I’ve learned that things can change very quickly. Before long, she’ll make friends and you’ll both find your people. Much love!

Could be that the parents are judgemental or they just don’t wanna get to know you. Or perhaps their kids have expressed discomfort or just dislike for your daughter.

I think it’s just the environment where you enrolled her in. Maybe a karate class or something more physical like gymnastics. In karate they might teach her how to be more patient. Most parents don’t want to risk their kid getting hurt and if they see her hit you then that’s a concern. Especially since they don’t know you and are judging. I wish I had advice on the hitting but I didn’t experience that with my first and my son is starting to slap my face and he thinks it funny. The right group won’t judge and will welcome you.

First of all, sending my virtual hugs to you and your daughter! ❤️ I hope you don’t feel sad anymore. About her tantrums, I can tell from a personal perspective: I was just like your daughter when I was younger, so my mom put me in jiu-jitsu. There are many benefits to it (I found this article that explains them in detail: https://nbjja.com.au/jiu-jitsu-news/the-top-10-reasons-why-jiu-jitsu-is-great-for-kids#:~:text=Jiu%2DJitsu%20is%20not%20just,build%20confidence%20and%20leadership%20skills) but the main ones, in my opinion, are discipline and patience. I remember my mom saying to our family that after jiu-jitsu I was a completely different kid, much more respectful and resilient. I hope it works for you! 🙏🏻

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