Discipline

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Depends on the offense. Crystal named a few of mine. I don’t do corporal punishments though

@Crystal this is horrible

Wow what horrific suggestions from Crystal! Please do not do any of those, laziest form of parenting! Do research and make it appropriate to what has happened

remember that if you want to raise children that are patient, kind, respectful, and can function properly in society as adults YOU have to be patient, kind, and respectful back. and that it takes a strong mom to be able to gentle parent. my kiddo used to throw tantrums and i’d sit with them- even if it’s in public for hours, i’d find a spot to sit and we’ll talk and dissect every emotion we’re feeling and we’ll end up talking for hours, i describe every emotion and scenario with them because you need to remember..most toddlers and young children don’t have a large vocabulary to voice how they feel so they act out. i’m always talking, about everything to my kiddo, if i’m not talking then i’m calm or calming down until i can talk and figure out the problem/how they’re feeling. i don’t take away privileges or toys. i don’t lay my hands on my children, and i never withhold food or use food as a power move to my kids. my kids are now calm and never raise their hands or voices.-

which says a lot for being toddlers. even if it takes a lot of time to get there you can get there! my kids know how to let me know how they feel without hitting or throwing tantrums now. i also never get embarrassed in public. when my kids used to have a tantrum in public my parenting methods never changed. i don’t care how i look in front of others as long as i know im doing right by my kids. when in public i find any area i can & sit with my kids, even if it’s hours of sitting in one spot and we calm down together/practice how to calm ourselves down, & we talk, and we move on with whatever we were doing or go home. now instead of crying first or having tantrums my kids would hug me first if they’re feeling emotional. it’s normal to feel frustrated, but i never take it out on my kids. when we’re frustrated we’ll calm down together, that’s why they feel safe enough to come to me if they’re emotional. you need to show your kids your a safe space when frustrated. not take it out on them

@Crystal what is wrong with you these are insane like the rubi and Jodi hildebrant case. Withholding food? Hitting? For a 2 year old ?!

My daughter was like that. If I am in public I take her to one corner and sit her down tell. Talk to her in not so friendly tone so she knows I am not joking. I allow her to cry whatever cry she wants to cry and when she is done she comes for a hug and she behaves. At home if I give her warning up until 5 times and if she don’t listen she is having a quiet time in her room until she gets the memo to behave but I give her the quiet time for like 30 min Explain to her why I did that then cuddle her and tell her not to do that again and I tell her to apologise nd she does and gives me a hug We do have reward days like if she behaves in the afternoon she gets to go to the park and buy what she wants and if she don’t she is lying to sleep. She is 2 years and 5 months and only just getting in touch with her feelings and sometimes gets overwhelming for me

First, don’t be embarrassed she’s just a 2 year old. Those people don’t care, I had to learn that the hard way. I used to be so scared and uptight because I thought people were judging me. Toddlers will do what they want. Mine thinks she’s the boss of me and her dad.. talk to her gently and she will eventually get it.

I get down to her level and ask her to use her words to tell me what she needs. We also work on taking deep breaths (let’s take a couple deep breaths; smell the flowers, blow out the candle). She also likes the Daniel Tiger deep breath thing where they take a breath and count to four. However, she is a two year old and tantrums happen. I can’t expect her to be perfect. I always get to her level and ask her questions about how she feels or what she needs (do you need a hug?, are you tired?, does your tummy hurt?, etc.) and try to talk amor her feelings if I know she’s frustrated or upset about something. Sometimes she just needs alone time; if everything else fails, I ask her if she needs time alone. If she says yes, I walk away and give her the space she needs and go back in a few minutes (obviously only when we’re at home; in public I would just remove her from the place for a few minutes to breathe. Changing scenery can help a lot).

The book How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen has really great techniques and advice for dealing with big feelings. It’s an easy read and they have a summary sheet at the end of each chapter than you can pull out and put on your fridge or wherever to reference when you need them.

@Jenna good book!

@Laura I loved it and it had so many things I never would have thought of! I loved the basis of treating them as a human being; just because they’re our children and younger than us doesn’t make them any less of a person and that’s always how I’ve wanted to raise her. I’m getting ready to read Good Inside next but haven’t had a chance to start yet.

@Jenna exactly! I'm not quite where I want to be in my parenting skills yet, but that's definitely what I strive for!

@Laura I’m not totally there yet either; I’m getting better every day though and when I do snap occasionally if I’m overstimulated and frustrated, I always acknowledge it immediately, apologize, give her a hug, and talk about feelings and how I could have handled the situation better (I feel like Chili in the Sticky Gecko Bluey episode lol). Love how it’s helped me work on myself; I’ve been snappy with my husband too and now I notice it and do the exact same thing with him when I snap (just less on talking about big feelings lol). I’ve taken some emotional intelligence courses for work and those have been super helpful for me in being a better mama and wife. My voice might snap occasionally but my hands never will (unless I need to shove her out of harm’s way).

@Jenna love it! And Bluey is the best! I've been in therapy trying to work on my stimulation issues. I'm determined to end generational trauma!

@Laura yess I love Bluey so much! You’re working on being your best and that’s what counts! I need to start therapy again to work on my issues now that we’ve moved. You have the right mindset so you definitely will end it! 🩷

@Amy thank you so much for recommending this book! I’m listening to the audio book now! ♥️