Feeling like I failed

You have definitely not failed so try not to be so hard on yourself. There is a breastfeeding group you could ask in? (I pump as we didn’t get a latch so different) https://www.peanut-app.io/share/Fc9fz1jS7Ib

This is really sad to read, lots of babies want to be right next to their mums, if you think about what your 10 week old is thinking and where she feels safest, it’s right next to you. I still breastfeed and co-sleep with my 2 year old but I don’t hate it. I wonder if the not getting any time to yourself could be fixed during the day time and that way you might not feel so annoyed about it at night time? Is there anyone that can help you get some alone time during the day? I’m not really telling you what you wanted to hear, but hopefully offering a different perspective x

I don’t have much advice because I am in the same boat, and I have a partner who hands my son back immediately any time he is upset, and he tells me to ‘hurry up in case he cries’ whenever I am about to have a shower or eat lunch/dinner. I don’t get a moment to myself at all! I know how you are feeling and it so hard, you’ve just got to do what’s best for you and baby❤️

I really wouldn’t worry that much it’s not the end or be all. Baby will grow up fine whether she has breast milk or formula. It really makes no difference. Please don’t put all this pressure on yourself x

Breastfeeding and co sleeping isn’t for everyone. You are not a failure regardless of your choices. You have to think of your own mental health as well. I stopped breastfeeding early because physically and mentally I couldn’t, and my baby was losing too much weight. Everyone says it’s the most natural thing in the world which makes us feel like crap if we can’t do it or don’t like doing it (I hated it!). Everything got better for me and baby once I stopped. I also said I’d never co-sleep and I’ve ended up doing it a handful of times when she’s been ill or won’t settle for hours. But if that was my every night I would hate it. Do what is best for you and your baby - but if what you’re currently doing isn’t making you happy then it doesn’t seem worth it to me x

But guys formula feeding doesn’t necessarily mean baby will be happy to sleep in her next to me alone? Some babies are like velcro babies? This is why lots of people use cry it out methods (please don’t!) Are you resenting breastfeeding because of the co-sleeping or hating it more generally? If the first then stopping breastfeeding might not be the only answer? Is baby swaddled? Can you hold her for about twenty mins/until she’s in a deep sleep then roll her onto her side into the next to me (still with her very close and in your arms) then escape and roll her onto her back? You’re not a failure, you and baby are learning this thing together! It really doesn’t help if you don’t have any support.

I don’t want to move on to formula really as she’s a very farty gal and I feel like getting her tum used to something else now woukd just bring more problems than it’s worth, so I’d like to try and avoid doing that if possible. We genuinely do breastfeed okay. But Co sleeping just really scares me, I’m doing it safely of course but it’s really making me anxious! I would just love her to feel settled in her next to me - but wondering what else I can try! I do wait until she’s in a deep sleep and sometimes I’ll get a couple of hours but most of the time it’s 10 mins and ping her little eyes are open looking for me 😂 she gets really gassy so wondering if that wakes her up too when she’s put on her back. Going to start trying to do a gentle routine now though she’ll be 11 weeks tomorrow and can stay awake for a little longer so I’ll start doing bath, story, feed and then bed like we did with my son. It seemed to work wonders with him even though they’re so little!

She did however have 1oz of breastmilk pace fed from a bottle today and seemed very happy taking it from her dad whilst I had a much needed pamper

aw your not a failure, my little girl has slept with me since birth pretty much and i also had had hardly any time to myself which can be really hard. They wont be this attached forever. I love her sleeping next to me and you said you are doing it safely so you don’t need to worry. Its natural for your baby to want to sleep next to you:) In many cultures its a norm that the baby with sleep with the mum. My daughter is 2 now and she still sleeps with me and breastfeeds in the night so I don’t really know how to get them to sleep alone but your daughter is still super young and will probably be able to sleep longer stretches on her own as she gets a bit older. Like @Munaza said maybe if theres anyone who can give you a bit of time to yourself in the day then that might help? X