Getting ready to kick my daughter's father out

My daughter's father and I have never really been together. She was a(very happy!) oops with someone I didn't really know. Due to circumstances (her having colic, his living situation getting ended) I allowed him to move in with me. It's been a year and I'm miserable. He contributes nothing, is very negative, constantly asks for money, and just generally is a loser. I'm financially independent, although I do live paycheck to paycheck currently due to daycare costs. I'm trying to figure out the best way to ask him to leave. He's not on the lease and pays nothing towards rent. I'm aware he can try to claim tenancy but I'm confident eviction court would side with me if he tries to go that route. Any suggestions for how to break the news? I was thinking an email sent when he's at work the next time he does something to upset me.
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

I think day to him face to face. Just say I think it’s time you look for a place of your own as we can’t do this forever. Spin it like as our daughter is getting older, she’s going to be able to come round to your house soon to spend some time with you so it would be good for you to get settled into somewhere before it gets to that. Maybe an option??

I agree with face to face, but if you are worried at all do it in a public place. You deserve to be happy in your home and as your little girl gets older she will notice and pick up on those negative vibes.

We gotta normalize not taking care of grown a$ men whos very well capable of providing if really wanted to. It’s embarrassing when it’s men out here who will provide without hesitation for you and ur child ! Sounds like he’s living off of you ! If u let him get to comfortable it’ll be a problem when you ask him to leave don’t put yourself or your child through any unnecessary stuff

Speaking from experience: Don't do it when he upsets you. Do it when you are of level mind. This way you won't say anything petty or seem like you're only speaking out of anger.

@Keisha good point. I guess I was thinking that if it's after something concrete I can point to as to why, he might get it a bit. Because you contribute nothing/you're miserable to be around etc doesn't seem to bother him/occur to him

Put everything in writing. Follow up the email with a face to face conversation. You will need solid proof for court purposes later if he refuses to leave and you have to pursue legal actions. You don’t even have to give him reasons past "I think its time we live separately. I'd like you to move out by XX date"

@Leanne I love this suggestion! It’s kind but also direct.

I’m going through legal stuff with my daughter’s father. I wish I would’ve documented more of our conversations. Especially his reactions. I’d send a vague email or a text if your state allows texts in court, and follow up with a face to face conversation if he hasn’t gotten the hint.

Be safe

How do you face-to-face conversation and tell him exactly how you feel exactly what you want what you said to leave it’s not that hard

It is that hard. The law does not permit her to put him out even in DV situations. She has to document an eviction notice (in most states) and then tell him verbally. If he lived there beyond the state's allotted time and refuses, courts would have to get involved. She should follow the instructions of Leanne and Lauralea if she wants things to go smoothly. @Tricia do follow your gut and be safe. Just know anything documented will most likely be shown in court if it goes to that point.

@Tricia men are blind to their actions or blatantly ignore the trauma and general stress they put women through. He is sitting there happily living off of you because of your baby. Don't let it go any longer. If you go to him without anger or malice, maybe he will go without making a huge issue. 🤞🏿

Do notttt do this after hes wronged you. Do it when you are both in a good place. You dont need an explanation for someone to move out of your home. If you feel like you owe this deadbeat one you can briefly explain it and if he starts asking a million questions or getting pissed you can tell him you’re not open to talking about it or diving into it but that he needs to respect what you’re saying and leave. Hes crashing at your home and you need to continue on with your life and save money for you and yours, which he is not apart of. Im sure you also just want your personal space back and to have the opportunity to meet other people without your childs strange father lurking around like a bum.

How does he treat you mom aside from the financial abuse ? Is there love involved??

Read more on Peanut