Setting out rules

is anyone planning on sending out a rules text for when their baby is here? I'm on immune suppressants which pass to baby so we are having to be so careful, we are sending out a long text but i feel it'll come across aggressive? Would anyone do anything to change the below? hi everyone! I’m sure you’re just as excited as we are for the arrival of our little boy. Unfortunately he does already have two neonatal alerts on him, this is due to the fact that Jess is on immune suppressants and they have transferred to him throughout the pregnancy. As I’m sure you know babies already have very fragile immune systems so we’ve been advised to take extra precautions as he will be more immune compromised than most newborns. Due to this we would like to set out some rules for his safety and ours. * Please do not kiss him anywhere we know this will be difficult as having 2 gorgeous mothers he’ll be very handsome 🤣 * Please wash your hands before holding him / we will supply hand sanitiser so don’t worry if you forget! * If you feel unwell, even if it’s a tiny cough please rearrange your visit. * Please refrain from smoking for a few hours before you meet him, and make sure you do not smell like smoke (get changed or bring a spare pair of clothes with you if you’re a smoker) * Please try not to have over powering smells of perfume - we all like to smell nice but too much can cause harm to him! We appreciate that everyone will want to meet him as soon as they can, however please give us a couple of days to settle into our new life. we are going to try and keep him off social media as much as we can so please ask for permission or give us prior warning before posting his face on the internet. Also please do not announce his birth before we do. we are new parents and learning as we go, we appreciate people will have advice and if we would like it, we will ask for it😊 we undertand that this may come across quite strongly however, we are doing this to protect our son. And we cannot wait for you all to meet him and thank you to everyone who has been there with us in our journey so far! Jess & Vicky ❤️

Show your support

I think you’ve set it out really clearly and if anyone doesn’t like it, they will just have to wait longer to meet him 😊

The only part I'd change is the social media 'permission OR give us' don't give them the or option. People will take an inch and run the mile! Other than that, smashed it! X

I think it’s great. Our little one won’t be immunosuppressant but we will still have similar rules! Your baby comes first now above anyone else. You’re their mums and you protect them as you see fit. I have asthma from second degree smoking from mum my as a child so I’ve been really firm with her and said if she wants to be involved and look after our baby etc now and in the future she has to quit smoking completely and she’s working on it. You’ve got this!! I hope your little one manages well when they are born ❤️

Fully support doing what you want or need to protect your family. We will also be doing similar. Hope it goes as you hope and people understand and respect your requests

I would personally rephrase one line to 'due to this we would like to share our strategy for keeping him as safe as possible' only because I know some people can be really funny with the idea of rules for a baby and take offence at them when actually everything you're asking is common sense and just polite to do when meeting a new baby- so isn't offensive! 😂 Saying strategy instead of rules might help them feel as though you're inviting them onto your team instead of dictating (your not) what they can/can't do. But this is going to your friends and family so you know best whether they'd be the sort of people who would get funny or not xx

Perfect message x

This is what I've got so far on mines - the bit with smoking will only be sent to MIL as she's the only person who smokes x Hello! We are super excited that we'll be welcoming our little boy in the next few weeks 💚 We are sending out this message as an easier way to communicate before our sons arrival. As you can imagine, we are more than ready to meet Casper (and we know you will be too)! Any updates will be posted on the group chat. Please do not show up unannounced- we will let you know when we are feeling ready for visitors. When you visit, we ask that you wash your hands & please refrain from *smoking* kissing him (he will be so delicate/vulnerable with no immune system). Please rearrange your visit if you feel unwell. As we've previously mentioned, we aren't posting announcements or pictures on social media - we ask again that this is respected.

This is worded so gently and respectfully that I’m going to use it as a guide for the text we send out 😂 I’ve also been so conscious of coming across arsey or like “a first time mum” but at the end of the day I am and it’s so important to set boundaries for your baby, yourself, your new journey and family! If people don’t respect it or have any negative views, then it’s definitely their own issue because you couldn’t have approached this better imo! 🩷

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