Sleep - what am I doing wrong?

Since December I'm up at least 4 times a night, sometimes 20 times a night. Sometimes it's dummy, lately only food will settle (combi bottle fed) but I'm certain it's just for comfort. Tonight I've been up at 23.44, 1am, and since 2.10. it's now 3.40 and lo won't go back to sleep. They've been fed (twice), rocked, cuddled, sung to, changed... Nothing. They are just lying here in my arms awake. Even if they fall asleep now, I need to stay up and express for 30min 😭 I can't do this any more. I don't feed to sleep at bedtime or for naps. I know some wake ups are caused by dummy but not all. Neither lo nor me are getting the healthy sleep we need. I feel like a failure and incapable because I can't work out what I do wrong. I'm a terrible mum and start to resent myself and LO. Bed time is between 7.30 and 8pm. 2-3 naps a day totalling around 2-3hrs. Last waken window is around 3hrs

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You are not a terrible mum! It sounds like a leap, my youngest is doing the same at the minute. He’ll go down 7:30ish until 9, then wakes 11:30ish, 1:30/2:30, again in the 3s, 5s and fully up by 7. We are bf and express too. I feel touched out by this time in the morning. Will not go back down in his snuz from 11:30 wake which means I then cat nap and am tired! Here if you want to talk, sorry I don’t have my advise except you have this and you’re an amazing mum

A leap since December?

I feel like I'm ruining their and my life. It get that not all babies sleep through and that a few wake ups are normal but there is no sign of improvement. I've worked hard over last few weeks go from contact naps to cot naps. They goes down easily for those and at bed time. I've stopped giving a bottle within 30 mins of bed time. I thought both would help but nothing

You’re not a terrible Mum. You’re doing all you can to help your baby. How is that terrible? Does baby sleep in the same room as you? If so it could be that they’re being woken up by you / your partner. Or is there anything different in the room: too light/ dark, too hot/ cold? How much do they wear for bed? Any new noises like a neighbour’s dog or singing birds? Do you have to express after baby falls asleep?

I forgot to ask, is the cot different? Too big / cold?

I don't think you're doing anything wrong :( my baby is the same and I've tried everything. I think it's luck. Do not blame yourself

Yes. There are different leaps and different things they go through. 3 C’s is around this age too

In the same situation since December. Just moved him into his room and it's got slightly better xx

Moved LO to own room 1 month ago. Slept in there on air mattress for a couple of weeks to cope with frequent wake ups but now slept in other room for 10 days - either change doesn't seem to make a difference. LO wears a 2.5 tog sleeping bag long sleeved vest and leggings. Room is between 18 and 19 deg C - baby is maybe slightly on the cool side. We have blinds and changed curtains to blackout curtains after 3 weeks - no difference. House and neighbourhood are very quiet. Using white noise for some background noise but don't think it really makes a difference either. I usually express during the first of LO's wake-ups/feeds after 3am but yesterday they woke up at 2am and I had left the pump in the other room so couldn't get to it until after LO had gone down

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