Scared of custody court
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@Wendi it’s a fear of mine. I’m not sure what the laws are really but I do know, our relationship hasn’t been the best. My baby hasn’t been around when we fight but I will take him upstairs to his grandma. He doesn’t need to hear that crap. He manipulates me, scares me, intimidates, he’s just all around not a good person. Tbh I feel trapped.
Well you should look into the laws entire area first. Get a free consultation or free legal aid and talk to them about your situation and see what the outcomes be. There are organizations that do help get people in touch with lawyers who do pro bono work. With all the advice all the woman can give you on here, it would be best to talk to a lawyer in your area to see what chances you have
If you're not married then you don't really need to go to court. If he's not involved now then he's not going to be involved or even want to be involved as the kid gets older whether you're there or not there.
Yeah but if the outcome isn’t good and I change what’s going on now, I’m going to have regrets. I don’t want that. I’m saying regrets meaning I won’t be seeing my son everyday. Just breaks my heart for him and me.
What's the point of going to court tho?
@April to get a parenting plan? I know the courts will make me at some point.
Just ask for supervised visitation. Judges usually don’t care about abuse towards the parents. I would consult an attorney if you start alleging abuse judges don’t like that without a lot of proof. If your son was even in the home during these incidents it could backfire on you. Ask for sole custody but be prepared not to get it and ask for supervised visitation at a facility. You won’t be allowed but he’ll be safe
@Nichelle yeah my kid was upstairs with his grandma. So maybe I’ll just stay put.
You don't need the court for a parenting plan and with the way he sounds it doesn't really sound like he'll ever be parenting. If you really want a parenting plan that's relatively official and holds up in court then you can write it/type it/text it and both of you sign if it's not in text. I was worried about It too but the minute I left my ex has seen our son once this month and FT him a total of 4 times bc I got tired of constantly trying to figure out if he was gonna wanna see our son or not and last minute planning wasn't working out and he was expecting me to drop everything I was doing, plan around him and his day and I was like absolutely not, if you want to ft him you need to let me know before 4/5pm and if you want to see him on tbe weekend then let me know by Wednesday the latest
I also don’t trust the guy enough to give him back either to stay out of court
@April it’s important to go to court even more so if you aren’t married and the father is on the BC, because no established custody means equal custody in a sense. Which means dad could always take the child and not give him back. And then she would have to go to court and fight for custody which on average takes about a year, and all that time he could not let her see him. It’s very common, even tho some people say you could file alienation, but usually for woman, it doesn’t work out in their favor when that happens .
But I could also leave and make him take me to court. He won’t because he don’t want to pay child support
However when the cops came that one time he showed them the affidavit from the hospital and the child gets to leave with me. This guy has to take me to court to get a parenting schedule he can’t just keep my kid.
You can file child support but that doesn't mean you'll receive it tho it'll mean there's court ordered visitation put in place and depending on where you're at it doesn't mean it's gonna go straight to 50/50 either but overall you can file a parenting plan but it'll hold you more accountable than it will him
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Court isn't for everyone's situation, there are lawyers who offer free consultations, alienation only holds in court if that's actually what you're doing, more ofthen than not CPS and the cops are really never going to get involved as much as you think they will, there's so much more but at the end of the day from my own situation of talking with a lawyer and other stuff that's recently happened its a catch 22 situation where you're potentially risking just as much by going to court as you are by not going to court
@April I would say if we write up a contract, my son will live with me at my mom’s house. He can come see him, few times a week if he wants. Also he should pay me $100 a week for his child support. Once I’m able to get stable on my feet I can probably lower the price.
You saying nothing equals you losing your son. What makes you feel so scared? Are you doubting your skills as a parent? What are you doing that would make you so fearful? Forget you BD!
The fact that y’all aren’t married works in your favor because his rights have yet to be established. In my opinion you have nothing to be scared of especially if you aren’t an unfit mother they aren’t going to take your child away from you! It’s honestly a tactic that’s used to manipulate Women into staying in unhealthy situations but it doesn’t have to be that way for you !
Why would you lose your son? Cuz he’s saying he would take him from you? Thats a common scare tactic. Most judges give 50/50. If there are no abuse allegations or mental health issues he knows about his chances are slim. If he doesn’t have money for a good lawyer he would most likely settle for mediation. What I have learned…. If you are holding your child.. and he …attacks… sometimes, some states allow to add that charge to the minor as well. Which would pretty much give you full custody. How is he with your son? Had he ever threaten him or hurt him? It would suck to coparent with him, but you wouldn’t lose your baby… I know that doesn’t help much tho….