Venting: When is enough, ENOUGH?

I feel stuck and powerless in my current relationship, idk when to call it quits. Am I throwing in the towel to quick or am I naive for staying this long. For context, I don’t have much experience with relationships this is only my second relationship and we’ve been together for 8 yrs now my last relationship was in high school which lasted 6 yrs. Basically in my current relationship I’m so tired of the way he talks and treats me and our kids. He always seems to be in a bad mood and is always yelling and making big deals out of everything. He has not self control when it comes to his anger he has put hands on me and our oldest kid. He hasn’t hit me but he has pushed me and held me very tightly and he once tried to choke me. He has hit our oldest and left him bruises and his excuse is that he is showing him disciplining him and that’s it’s because he doesn’t listen to him. I don’t agree with any of it but I feel so helpless because we own a business together and if I leave I have no money, he owns everything except technically even though everything is under my name he controls it all. He owns everything that I own and idk what I will do if I leave. We have 2 boys and I recently found out I’m pregnant as well my parents live near by but I wouldn’t want to burden them seeing as they live in a 1 bedroom mobile home with my brother and I have to other family near by and I don’t have any friends either. Now he is always bad he can be nice sometimes but it seems like the bad overshadows all the good. I am scared of what he would do if I leave but maybe I need to leave in order for him to get a wake up call to get himself together. He makes me feel so worthless with how he talks to me, he tells me that in stupid, ugly, and no one will ever want me. That I’m useless, that he can do so much better that me and that I’m nothing without him. I’ve grown to ignore him but I can’t help but let him words hurt me.

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He will kill you. A man who is already putting hands on you (and your child) will escalate. He will not change. This is who he is. Don't let him take you away from your children. Don't let your children resent you for staying with a violent man and not protecting them. File a police report and get a restraining order if you can. Go to a domestic violence/women's shelter.

None of it is ok. But the putting bruises on you guys’s child. Absolutely not. I think what Casey said is smart about getting a police report/ protective order. Going to a domestic violence shelter. Maybe since the business and everything is in your name there is something you could do to split the business, through court, once you get out. But I’m not sure either way on that.

Is enough going to be enough when you lose a child? My son had PTSD with my emotional abusive relationship. My son took his own life at 16. Or is enough going to be enough before you lose a child? Document everything, when and what happened. It's very important to include how it made you feel. How it makes you feel very important when proving emotional abuse. It's not silly to write it down. Your feelings are not silly. They are valid. You may not be ready to leave now but start documenting. And give the domestic violence shelter a call, just talk to them. They can tell you how to safely leave. At very least start this process. When you are ready the domestic violence can help you and give you resources and such. The torture I go threw every day. The images of the last few times I saw my son, dead does not leave my brain. I see it daily. The way I found him, trying to save him and the very last was on the table at the funeral home. You think it's bad now? Save your kids, get them therapy.

Please please protect your self and especially your child. Your child do not deserve to grow up in a dysfunctional family. When a man started to physically harm you, thats it. I agree with all the comments here. If the business is under your name, the court will sort it out. Please stay safe.

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