What would you do? Have to see inlaws at upcoming event.

MIL is retired, lives 5 minutes away, sees my husband & other kids every day. She hasn’t called or texted me or come over since December. She didn’t say happy birthday or give me a card, hasn’t asked me how I’m doing since I had my C-section, or if I needed help, or how baby was doing when he was hospitalized or been sick many times since then. Husband hasn’t said much except that his parents haven’t held the baby yet - I asked if his mother’s phone is broken, cause I haven’t missed a call or text from her asking how we’re doing or to come over to see me & the baby. He said she’s upset that I “disrespected” her in MY house by telling her not to touch & wake up my sick newborn baby (she then lied saying she didn’t, stormed out & hasn’t apologized) & now she doesn’t feel welcome in my house (which she is not for several reasons). I don’t know if it’s her or my husband who is actually still upset with me, but I did nothing wrong. She overstepped my boundaries, I asked her to stop & then she lied about it in front of all of us, to make me look like the crazy person. Now I have to see them at my kid’s birthday party. I’m worried that she or my husband will ask/demand/expect/assume that she can hold the baby & all I want to say is “Why now, when you haven’t asked about him since he was born, over 4 months ago!!” I don’t want to start drama & look like the crazy one or ruin my own kid’s birthday (who will likely cry if we’re arguing or she leaves), by starting an argument with her & in front of a lot of family & friends. But I don’t think I should be expected to hand my baby over to someone who hasn’t given a shit about me or the baby. My older kids told me my MIL asks THEM - children!! why they don’t bring the baby over to see her. When I ask my husband to watch the baby while I shower or clean the house, I’ve seen him sneakingly take & send videos & photos of the baby to his parents (he never sends the photos to me), or he will quietly FaceTime his parents in another room, to see the baby & even lied to me about doing it (& when asked why he lied, he just laughed & said sorry). If I bring it up with my husband beforehand, he’ll likely side with her, say I was rude, she never apologizes anyways, I shouldn’t come between her & her grandkids or start drama at my kid’s birthday & just do it this once to keep the peace & make sure they all save face in front of others (I could care less about that for them or myself). Or he’ll lose it on me calling me selfish, threaten to cancel the party & blame me for ruining our kid’s birthday. All of these things have happened before. It’s not like I can’t go. All I can think is making some excuse when I’m there like he’s sick or will cry or needs to breastfeed or nap, but with my 1st baby at 1 month old, they all pushed for me to hand him over, saying they can take care of him if he cries, then walked away showing him off to their friends & even took his clothes off & took group photos without me, with him in his diaper because the restaurant didn’t have A/C & it was 30 C (& this was after I said I need to bring him home because he was too hot & uncomfortable, but my husband refused). At this point, I don’t even care that I haven’t seen her or have a relationship with her (which is all her fault), nor do I care if they don’t have a relationship with my baby - even when I go back to work, I’d rather put him in daycare against my husband’s wishes, than let him watch him, only to take him to his parents when I’m not around, like he’s been doing with our other kids for years). I feel like this is a very messed up situation & even the way we live separately (but I see my mom more often who lives farther & works full time) is messed up & not normal. *Should I just tell him my boundaries & expectations? Should I call or message my MIL myself to clear the air or find out the truth or tell her my boundaries before the party? How would you word it?