Advice for how to handle my pathetic ass BD

**will post the photos in the comments** So my BD respectfully has been useless and I’m running out of energy and options on how to deal with him, he’s weak minded and can’t make any choices himself, I have done the seven months of this pregnancy alone, he speaks to me every day like we’re besties but as soon as I try to talk about our daughter he shuts down because he “can’t cope” and it’s “too much” and he “doesn’t know” I gave him the benefit of the doubt, I gave him 7 months to work on himself whilst I organised EVERYTHING for our daughter buying everything whilst literally living in emergency accomodation and dealing with my own mental health, and I basically came to my last straw the other day of him avoiding everything, he’s only attended the gender scan, no other appointments and idek if he’s going to be at the hospital, or when he wants to see his daughter and do visits ect, so I basically wrote a LONG ass message after having a little menty B explaining how I can’t do both our jobs anymore as I’m exhausted (will post in comments) and THEN he reads it and changes the subjects and I’m like okay maybe his dyslexia needs a sec” two days later he still hasn’t answered it at all, so I kinda lost my mind and wrote another today and I just need to be told if I took it too far? So the notes app in the comments is the first message and the Snapchat is the one from tonight because I STILL HAVE NO ASNWERS FROM THIS MAN, he can somehow avoid the subject of his daughter better than anything and I’m too soft a person to come down on him without him playing victim card making out I’m evil, help please 🤍🤍

Show your support

Everyone is prone to lash out after being ignored for a while. The snap chat is a bit much, but I understand. I just hope that he gets it together before the baby comes

I would be super frustrated too, the only thing you can do is stop trying to make him get his shit together. He's either going to step up or he's not. He's expecting you to continue going after him so the moment you stop and just leave it be, he's gonna pop up. The only thing you can control are your actions. If I were you I would tell him straight up what you need from him and if he can't do it then make a boundary and stick to it. I wouldn't even put energy in to expecting a reply either. If I were you I would even go as far as having him relinquish his rights. You're pregnant now but once your baby is here you're going to have zero energy to put up with his pity party. It's as simple as saying if you don't "this" then I'm going to have no choice but to do "this". And leave it at that, anything else all you're doing is driving yourself crazy. He's a grown ass man, he will figure it out. And if not, it is what it is and the only thing you can do is be the best mama to your daughter.

Taking away your expectations is going to make your life 1000x easier

Honestly you can’t force someone to be in your child’s life… it only hurts you and your child in the long run especially when your child is old enough to realize for themselves the person you made stay really didn’t want to be there. Actions speak louder than words and at this rate I’d be asking for him to terminate parental rights.

He very clearly and obviously does not want to be apart of your lives. I would stop wasting your time with all of this and just take him to court for child support and be a single mom. Stop wasting your time with this loser and make space in your life to find someone who appreciates you, values you, and contributes just as much or more to you and your babies life! Also. There should be no question, the baby gets your last name!

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