Missed miscarriage

Hi Nerin, I'm sorry to hear of your losses. I absolutely understand your pain with them as I have gone through four losses before having my daughter 6 weeks ago. My four losses spanned over 3 years of trying for a family. I've also just turned 39 I had every test done under the sun, I was referred to a fertility clinic who did so many tests it absolutely drained me. All of my losses were all before 12 weeks too. My partner and I said, after our 4th loss, and having done all the tests, to try one more time (before possible IVF) and it happened. They always said to me it was my BMI which I politely told them to do one! Please don't lose hope or faith. I know you will absolutely have your rainbow baby and don't feel guilty about it at all. Sending you all the baby dust ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much for your quick reply! And I’m also so sorry for your losses. Congratulations on your new baby. That’s a positive to hear it’s worked out for you. Im also worried about my age and bmi being higher making it the reason I might be having problems. I just feel so lost and don’t know what to do or how to even go about things. I’m scared it won’t happen and I feel as though I don’t have much time left. Is there anything you and your partner did or changed that helped? I’m going to start working on getting rid of some of the excess weight. Thanks again!

Also just wanted to add that I was referred to the miscarriage clinic before this loss but was told to keep trying in the meantime. I got as far as a blood test which came back ok with no flags for anything being wrong.

I had a lot of blood tests and scans to check internally to make sure everything was OK. BMI, to me, doesn't mean you can't get pregnant. I am a curvy size 16 and I own that. They also told me I was too old and I told them "absolute bullshit!". There are women older and bigger than me that have successful pregnancies. Why should BMI play a factor?? So frustrating they say this to women! 😔 I took folic acid but a higher dose of 5mg, instead of 4mg, but i was on 5mg for a few years. I also took COQ10 before getting pregnant again for 6 months, and when pregnant I had to take aspirin and I had progesterone tablets up to 12 weeks. I cant tell you if what I did prior to getting pregnant helped, or if it was the progesterone tablets, or the aspirin. It's so difficult to say it was specifically something but please don't lose heart or give up. Honestly. I know its difficult to do but don't overthink about losing weight to satisfy one doctor. ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much! I was put on 5mg of folic acid as well after the second miscarriage but was told to take it only when I fell pregnant again. I might ask the doctor or try and source some as I used to take that and vitamin d but like you say it’s hard to tell what will work. Well don’t for telling them where to go about age and weight! That’s exactly what I’ve been saying all along that there are women older and heavier than I am with successful pregnancies. I really don’t want to give up. Thank you. You’ve given me hope❤️

You're welcome, Nerin. I took my folic acid for a few years constantly, not just when I was pregnant. I had to keep taking it up to 34 weeks pregnant too. Yes, vit D I took too! Keep telling your doctors, don't stop. Use your voice! You got this ❤️❤️

We had 5 miscarriages and a chemical pregnancy before having our little boy. We had all the tests going and nothing showed up. I asked about my thyroid as I had been doing my own research and they told me I absolutely didn’t need it checked, I went anyways and my levels were borderline so my dr was happy to treat me and I got given progesterone when I fell pregnant again. It could have all been a coincidence but trust your gut xx

@nerin hi, I’m so sorry for your losses, I have been there and no how heart breaking it is. I also know what it’s like to be older and feel like time/hope is running out. I hope my experience gives you some hope though! I am 44 and have a 3 year old daughter. Since having her we have had two miscarriages, one at 6 weeks and one was a missed miscarriage which we only found out at our 12 week scan. That was this time last year and being so much older (and with a higher BMI) I had pretty much given up hope. We decided to give it one more go and I’m pleased to say that I am currently 36 weeks pregnant and all seems to be going ok so far! 🤞🏼 When I was in the depths of loss last year, I read a book called It starts with the egg. You may find it useful as it suggests supplements that might help in the case of multiple miscarriages. I took some of them and will always wonder if this is what helped us to be successful this time. Our chances of not miscarrying were 50% so it may just be that

@nerin we were lucky, I guess we’ll never know! But reading that book and taking the supplements at least made me feel like I was doing something to help our chances. Good luck and never give up hope 🌟

@Eliana thank you. I’ll definitely look into it and speak to the doctor once I’m up to it. Think I need a break for a few weeks❤️

@Laura that’s awful. I don’t know how you carry on after so many losses. You’re very strong. I’m so glad it worked out for you. I was given progesterone but it didn’t work as I wasn’t bleeding. I seem to have missed miscarriages but thank you. That gives me hope❤️

@Sophie you have definitely given me hope. I’m sorry for your losses. Thank you so much for sharing. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Glad it’s going so well. I’ll have a look at that book thank you. It’s so hard to carry on and believe things will work out but I don’t feel ready to give up just yet. I think I just need a little break from ttc but I need to get back into taking vitamins again. I stopped when I found out I’d miscarried. Thank you again. You really have given me some hope after not having any❤️

@Nerin you’re very welcome. I really think staying positive is half the battle, which is obvs easier said than done, but if you can find something/anything to cling onto I really believe it helps. I also spoke to a Tommy’s midwife over the phone last year after our missed miscarriage and she was so lovely and also really helped me to believe there was still a glimmer of hope. I highly recommend that too if you feel you need more support. She didn’t make promises or pretend that age etc isn’t a factor but she did help me to start to see things a bit more logically and was just so kind which helped to change my mindset and reminded me that I am not a statistic. Sometimes that’s what you need. I really hope you get your rainbow baby soon! x

@Nerin I wasn't bleeding at all through my 12 weeks but I still took progesterone pessaries so do push and use your voice x

@Eliana thank you so much. You’ve given me lots to look into. I’ll definitely call Tommy’s. I’ve spoken to them before and they’ve been lovely. I’m going to try not to give up hope. I’ve messaged my doctor to ask for 5mg folic acid if but not sure he’ll give it to me. We’ll see I guess. Thank you again🥰