Cheating Husband
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I’ve never been through this but I do know that a lot more people stay then think they will. Everyone on here will tell you to leave. Any maybe that is best. But in the same situation, a lot of people who swore they would leave… do not. It’s a hard situation and no one knows how they will really act until they are in it. I will say if you are going to stay, you guys cannot keep doing the same thing and expect different results. You need to go to couples therapy. Your lives need to change. It will be an uphill battle. Only you can decide if you want to try it. And at any point, you are allowed to change your mind.
I stayed with my husband after he cheated. It lasted 3 weeks, they met at work. I had organised myself - spoken to a lawyer, the bank, financial aid etc and I had everything sorted to leave.. but I stayed. However, I stayed because he showed me he was sorry and that it would never happen again. I gave him a list of things that needed to change and it's been almost 2 years and he has kept his word on all of them, and they weren't easy things I asked for - one was finding a new job.
Guys I never said she should leave or else, her story sort of sounded hypothetical. I just said he won’t stop and you won’t fully ever know if he’s going to stop. Especially if he’s a serial cheater. If you’re going to stay you’re going to have to put your big girl panties on and accept it. I think that’s fair. You can choose to believe he has stopped but probability of that being true is low. There are millions of married woman who know deep down that their husbands are cheating and they’re happily married so I’m not saying it’s easy and common to leave🤷♀️ I’m sure any psychologist would probably agree that a serial cheater who’s married is probably not going to stop after they’ve been caught. 🤷♀️
I’d just like to say, serial cheating is emotional abuse. You wouldn’t advise one to stay with an abusive partner if it was physically, so I don’t condone anyone to stay with any type. But if you do, just gotta accept it. I’m for you doing all the work you wanna do, counselling, religion, spirituality, quality time but at the end of the day it’s something to think about, it’s about your true happiness and wellbeing too!! https://www.btr.org/infidelity-is-emotional-abuse/
I left a man over talking to his ex about a freaking parking ticket. I don’t condone cheating and I won’t settle for less. Some men do stop cheating but only after they’ve gotten caught and even then some will continue because they’ve found a better way to hide it. It’s not worth the years of pain but to some women a man is (for some reason). I’d say if you think he’ll stop then stay and spend the time working on it but if you just simply can’t handle it then leave.
@Chí I wasn’t trying to come at you. Sorry if it seemed that way! I was just saying that on the internet most people will tell people to leave. In all kinds of situations, people just yell “get divorced”. And I am 100% pro divorce whenever needed. But people and relationships are complex and can be more than one thing. And I just wanted to show OP that it’s okay to leave. And it’s okay to stay. It is not a negative reflection of her either way. If he has cheated multiple times and they have never worked to change the behavior or understand it or make lifestyle changes, it is very highly like going to happen again. You can’t just forgive and move on and expect things to be different. That’s just how behavior works. Don’t know if that’s the case here. And this is not OPs fault. But if they want to try to stay, they have to work on it all together.
Maybe if it was a once mistake but multiple times?? Absolutely not. Complete breakdown of trust and respect. I made a mistake and I would never do it again (i got carried away messaging someone). My husband stayed with me and we're stronger than ever 😊
It's something that time will tell. My partner did it 2 me I was devastated ( by text and things I've seen on his phone) made things work was going good then not quite a year later bam he did it again with lots of lies. Again I was devastated heart broken my heart telling me to try again my head was saying leave. This is his last chance. But I'm always on edge thinking the worst wondering what he's doing on his phone . I'm finding it harder this time to get over it so I definitely know 1 more thing it's done . I'm worth so much more x
You can inbox me because this is not a safe place to share but I’m still with my husband
I think you know the answer. Please don’t ever consider even staying with a cheating partner??? Like if you’re planning on staying then you’re going to have to just accept the cheating part. Honestly.