Can’t stand my dog anymore😭

I feel awful and so embarrassed writing this, hence why I’m anonymous. I had a baby 5 months ago. Prior to that it was just me, my husband and our dog. Our dog was our little baby. We took her everywhere, threw her birthday party’s, bought her treats and presents you name it. Probably humanised her way too much if I’m honest. Which I suspect is half our problem now. She has always been really good at listening to us. And she has some great traits and qualities about her. But. Fast forward to coming home with our first baby. I honestly can’t be near her and I feel so so awful saying this but struggling to love her. I’m finding her to just be a burden. I can’t leave her alone because she has separation anxiety so I feel trapped in my house with the baby, I can’t have people over and if we do my husband has to be here too because she absolutely hates people (beside us and my family), she has stopped listening and has nearly hurt our baby on too many occasions now (nearly accidentally jumping on him nothing intentional), she seems scared of our baby won’t go near him sometimes even though he is so in awe of her and she is started growling at children when we have them over especially when the move around and do children like things (dancing etch). I’ve got postpartum anxiety and depression so that probably isn’t helping. I’m honestly at my wits end, we have tried training, 1 on 1 time so she isn’t left out, positive reinforcement, been to vets. Nothing is helping. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel nothing towards her, which scares me because I used to so so hard and also makes me feel like the worse person ever. I’m at a point where I feel like she would be better off with a family who can give her all the attention she needs and wants. But then I think that is so so horrible for me to do, plus my husband doesn’t particularly want to go down that route but he is fine because he works everyday and I’d feel so so guilty because our son loves her (even though she doesn’t seem to like him) and I truly think she would die if we gave her to be better fit family too because she adores us and like I said has severe separation anxiety. I’m not sure what the point in this post was, I think to get this off my chest. I think my emotions are slightly more intense at the moment too because she just went crazy at the door again and I think it overwhelmed me. But also see if anyone has been in a similar situation and if they can share their experience? Or if anyone has any ideas/suggestions. Please no judgement I know the way I feel is absolutely unfair and mean. And I know she is the way she is because of us😭I know people will have strong opinions on this, trust me I would have had the same prior to giving birth.

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It breaks my heart to read this. Depression and anxiety cause irrational or extreme emotions and thoughts. Significant mental health challenges like the ones you’re experiencing can really have you thinking and feeling some things that you wouldn’t ever have dreamed were possible. I can’t tell you what you should do, but here’s what I’d do if it were me: - If you can afford to, invest in a trainer who can come over and work with your dog. - Hire a dog walker or pet sitter a couple of times a week, to allow your dog to acclimatise to the company of others. - Invest in distraction toys and puzzle games for the dog, to occupy them. - Lastly, you could see if there’s someone who can co-care for your dog, taking her a couple of times a week so you can get some space and your dog can get some TLC. I hope you figure this out. x

Stupid question but didn’t you prepare the dog in anyway for a baby to be coming in the house? I wouldn’t see a trainer but a behaviourist as they will be able to pin point certain things a normal trainer might not pick up on. I have PPD and hated my dogs at one point but soon found they were my calm place (taking them out without the baby ect). Is the dog crate trained? If not I’d definitely recommend so they have a space to get away.

Why don’t you give your dog some grace? Same way you have ppd and ppa maybe she’s learning to adjust as well. It’s all new to her, there’s a new baby all of a sudden, people coming in and out of the house and maybe she can sense your energy as well and she probably thinks there’s something wrong. Nothing a dog does is intentional especially if you’ve treated her like your baby she’s probably doing this out of love. I’d say try and invest in a trainer or get some outside help but if you really loved her as your own then would you throw away your child like that?

So I felt like this for about 8 weeks after my baby was born. To be fair, my dog was a nightmare and would just bark constantly at my little girl. He also has separation anxiety and I share him with my parents so we both get a break. I looked into re homing him because I just couldn’t be around him anymore and didn’t want him near the baby, not that he ever did anything. 3 months on, my anxiety and hormones settled and I could see a bit clearer and he got better with the baby. He’s still not amazing but he’s come along way. I now feel awful that I ever contemplated giving him up, he’s just turned 10 and we’re all his known his whole life. Just hang in there, it’s so hard but you will love your dog again. Can you find a dog sitter that can take him a day a week to give you a break maybe? That’s we what we did and it really helped.

What you’ve said is exactly what I’m afraid of! But what the ladies above said is exactly what I’d recommend and you’ve got to have patience as hard as it is. It’s only been 5 months and you’re still going through your own changes, let alone the dog going through changes with a new baby in the house too ! Definitely look into a dog sitter to give yourself a break, or a trainer/behaviourist to help out in the longer term. I 100% believe you can do it! Just remember the dogs behaviour won’t change over night or in a few weeks, baby or not. Good luck and wish you the best xx

I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't have a dog yet and can't help in that sense. what I can say is when I struggled with depression, particularly hormonal related (PMDD) it sometimes makes me feel numb/like I don't love or like people or animals I usually do. I adore my family dogs but when I struggle will find them very irritating and question my love. When I am very low I question for love for people too sometimes. It's an awful awful feeling but I know it's hormonal /depression and will pass so I try not to pay it attention as much as possible until it passes. I haven't had postnatal depression and I imagine it's much more intense and difficult ❤️ I hope things improve soon xxxx

Don’t beat yourself up, the feelings post baby surrounding your dog are completely normal. I would suggest finding a behaviourist, I would also talk to your vets about the behaviour and look at drugs that can help - there are a few different drugs that can be used to help reduce anxiety in dogs - fluoxetine is one and it may help with the anxiety around the baby too. I would use it alongside working with a behaviourist though, ideally a clinical behaviourist or a vet behaviourist. They can be found on the link below. They will not be cheap but these are people that have had to prove they are successful in what they do before they can be given CCAB accreditation and are generally very good. They will also support you if rehoming does seem like the best idea and there is absolutely nothing wrong and no shame in deciding that is the best thing for your dog. Please don’t beat yourself up about this, this can be sorted with a little time and work x https://www.ccab.uk/practising-ccabs

I just want to validate how you feel, I have two cats who I love sooo much but now with a baby when they knock things over and wake the baby up or scratch at the door in the night when you’re already on minimal sleep or wee on or tear up the carpet it is sooo stressful especially as we rent. Having to feed them and clean up their litter box whilst doing the same for a baby, it is haaaaard especially as I can’t leave my baby for long as he doesn’t entertain himself for very long at all yet. I think babies become our entire world we are literally living our lives to just help them live theirs and it’s very hard when you’re also having to do the same for your pets at the same time! I’m hoping things will get easier for us as our boy gets older but i’ve had some thoughts too that I never thought i’d have 😖

Thank you so so much to those that have provided some advice and shown empathy I really really appreciate more than you know. I feel a lot clearer minded today. I think yesterday was a bad day for the postpartum anxiety/depression and I think our dog just tipped me over the edge with her barking (not her fault I know). I do love my dog of course I do, I think my minds just in such a strange place at the moment. I know she means no harm and I know she is probably really picking up on my energy and feelings too, they do say dogs are like their owners so I’m not surprised she is extremely anxious. I’m going to go to the vets again and hopefully find a better behaviourist. I don’t want to rehome her, not deep down, before baby arrived and before I was struggling mentally we had so much fun together, don’t get me wrong she’s always been anxious but man we had the best times I don’t want to throw that away because of my own mental load. Thank you again really appreciate it❤️

Hey hun dog mum to two enormous dogs is does get better remember your only 5 months in with your beautiful pride and joy also with PPD you get very irritated to everything and the aniexty and everything the dog feels it too i suggest your partner helping out alot with the dogs with us there routine has never changed they still get walked morning and night and when baby sleeps there getting attention or playing with them in garden trust me it gets alot better everything will settle down once you get a routine of everything and once the hormones and PPD calms down prob takes a year i would say but the relationship to your dog and baby is an amazing experience to witness and watch and how much love they have for them they actually see them as there brothers or sisters its that type of bond the dog will get used to it also everything is just new if your still struggling months down the line then invest in a trainer or behaviourist

I reached my limit on my post haha honestly just want to aay it 100000% will get better and honestly i couldnt live life without my dogs they bring such happeniess companionship to us a family and to me as a mum as motherhood is extremely lonely and the dogs just blur the loneliness out take each day as it comes dont stress as the energy goes onto the dog reason behind hes probably playing up as they feel what we feel hope thats helped free to message me if you want xxx

It's your family and your dog. If your dog no longer fits in or is too much, rehome the dog. My brother had to do this. Unfortunately, he waited until the dog bit his wife and child. Again, it's your family and your call. Be kind to yourself. Take pride in making the best decisions for your family, even when they are hard. Whatever you decide, I'm confident it will be the right choice for you and your family.

5 Months is a long time. Can I ask how much do you bond your dog in raising a baby? I see that everywhere, the moment the baby is there, the dog get pushed out the family. My dog was always standing next to me on the changing table, was laying with the baby on the floor, was sitting with him on the sofa. We didn't change the rules, it was just one more person in the family. Now my baby is 4 years old and they are best friends. Of course the dog won't like a complete change cause of this little humans. I think in your situation it's better for everyone (The baby and the dog) to rehome him into a family who actually would love him and want him.