just ranting cuz wtf?

me and my bd have always had a pretty rocky relationship, he used to treat me like shit, verbally and emotionally abusive and it went on like that for a while and was at its worst during my pregnancy, my baby was born on march 17, he was at the hospital with me but made the entire stay beyond miserable, i couldn’t wait to be discharged so i could go home (we don’t live together) a few days after that, i tried to break up with him and he guilt tripped me into staying, then he had come to see his son one time a week after we left the hospital and then went a whole month not asking to see him and during that time, we barely talked and had no relationship or connection, it felt like we weren’t even in a relationship, finally i made it a problem so he came over to see him and i broke up with him, he came over recently again to see his son (bc now he’s trying to change ig thinking i didn’t mean the breakup and i just want him to change? but the thing is im no longer asking him to change bc every time i did, he lied and it’s a revolving circle, im just done) when he left after the visit, he kissed me and he constantly is saying that he loves me and acting like we’re still together and nothing happened and in the ss when he mentions naya, that’s the girl he would constantly ft and text while we were together and during arguments he would throw her in my face, he still to this day won’t tell me he cheated on me with her but she hasn’t been brought up in a long time at this point, and it’s been 12 hours since i sent that last text and he still hasn’t responded so i feel like he was gonna tell me he cheated on me with her or that he’s gonna go see her or just something that he knows is gonna get to me…i just don’t know but if he cheated on me, i might just kill him…i will update if i ever get a text back cuz i ain’t ab to look like im bothered and double text 💀