Why couples therapy never works

Therapy as a means of saving a relationship between two adults will heal you but it likely won’t bring two people back together again in the long run. Therapy brings up things and opens wounds, it has to in order for you to aknowledge and heal them this can be childhood experiences ect, habits, memories ect it changes the thought process and the way neurological pathways work. This ends up getting a hell of a lot worse for both people digging things up they tucked away in layers and years of ignorance before it gets better. Now: both people need to be willing to open the garbage and go through it all bit by bit and face the little things that made them who they are at the present and it’s very unlikely after going through it that journey assessing everything and healing that they end up the same people after it. Because when they change their thinking they are no longer the same people as it’s meant to make you grow tackle past patterns and question why you became who you are. A lot of people realise they no longer want what they wanted prior to therapy (the same life the same people) and they split up with their partner because it no longer makes sense to date the same person after self discovery. That’s what I’m trying to explain. If therapy is your last option I guess I’m just kind of letting you know there’s a slim chance in it working out. It’s not a bad thing but just a heads up if you think a mediator is going to make the two of you appreciate each other more, it’s putting a plaster on a gun shot wound. Edit: not everyone you marry or end up having a child with is the person for you, if you want them to be healthy and happy and yourself for that matter it very often means you have to let them go. If your already having to get therapy it’s a sure sign the relationship is not working or functioning. You can temporarily fix communication between the two of you but that communication will still need to tackle the subjects it would have in raw therapy and the cycle is the same.

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I mean couples therapy saved my relationship so idk It only works if you want it to work. You have to be willing to do the work. And if you're not then just like any therapy it's not going to work. Most people don't wanna take the time and energy to actually let it work. So they bail out early. I mean I guess you pointed this out but it's definitely not true that it never works because it does.

Like one on 30 cases makes it. And then out of those half still end up splitting. So many men have come back solo years later with a new partner it’s laughable. The nerve. That’s a fact and we work with hundreds of couples. It’s an expensive way to break up with someone most of the time. I’m a strong advocate for women and thought I’d share the facts on peanut so they other women arnt caught off guard. I’m glad it worked for you but it’s not the norm in anyway.

I'm going to school to be a therapist and I can tell you right now. Therapy only works if you want it to work. Other than that it's not going to work. So both couples have to put in the time and effort to make it work. If you truly love someone you will make it work. I guess my point is. Saying it never works is a stretched because it can definitely work for some. But saying never is false

I’ve been a therapist for 12 years. I’ve worked in four places , crisis pregnancy centre, fancy couple therapy, government metal assistance and with divorced and separated court mandated therapy. Babe, I’ve seeeeen it allllllllllll…. I’m not typing away just hating therapy as it’s my bread and butter but in terms of it actually working it’s sooo slim.

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