Settle this for me

Hey guys, I need to involve you all as need to know if I’m right in being annoyed or not?!🤣 First off I want to start by saying in MY opinion, everyone’s pregnancy and everyone’s trauma can be completely different to someone else’s, and something that can be traumatic for one person can be not traumatic for the other person During MY pregnancy in MY opinion I have been through trauma. I have emetophobia, I have had hyperemesis this pregnancy, I was once sick over 30 times in one day, which for someone with a fear of sick, it traumatised me, I am still experiencing HG to this day and to me in my opinion this is trauma for me! as I have an extreme fear of sick, so to be sick over 30 times in a day!! That’s traumatic for me! Due to my HG i also considered an abortion, I didn’t want an abortion I love my baby however I considered one as I was in absolute tears after being sick 30 times in one day!! as i couldn’t cope with that as i have an extreme fear or sick in my opinion i went through trauma that day! During this pregnancy I have said it’s been traumatic for me as I have had so many complications, I have had a su*c*de attempt, I’ve suffered self harm, I’ve had seizures, GD, depression and much more I am still young, and it is my first baby, everything I have been through has traumatised me, in MY opinion. My cousin who unfortunately had a still birth (I understand this is very traumatic for her) is saying I have no right to say I have gone through trauma this pregnancy just because she had it worse than me and lost her baby. Don’t get me wrong I cannot imagine loosing a child, I feel for her, I understand her, I understand that’s traumatic for her 100%. But just because someone’s trauma may weigh more? Doesn’t mean someone else’s trauma doesn’t mean as much. I might not of suffered the trauma of loosing a child But i experienced the trauma of HG, being sick over 30 times in one day when i have a major fear!! of sick and much more complications this pregnancy. I believe trauma is trauma and trauma is different for everyone. I had a car crash, that was trauma for me? it might not of been for someone else. but trauma is trauma She hasn’t spoken to me this whole pregnancy but decided to start a fight with me today after I was talking about how traumatic things have been for me this pregnancy she overheard this conversation and started a fight with me trauma is trauma, no one’s trauma should be dismissed? If we’re in a boat that’s sinking, we’re all sinking, no matter what. I understand her still birth must’ve been so traumatic for her I completely get that and I also understand it doesn’t compare to someone being sick. But for someone to have a major major fear of being sick and to suffer HG and be sick 30+ times in one day!! Sorry regardless of what she went through that was traumatic for me!! How am I in the wrong for saying I experienced trauma? Trauma can look different for everybody Not once have I compared the two Her trauma may of been worse than mine however in my opinion i still suffered trauma just different trauma to hers how am i in the wrong?!

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I wouldn't take this as a comment on you. It sounds like she's still deep in her grief and is lashing out. Losing a child is horrible and it's easy, deep in grief, to judge parents as ungrateful when their pregnancy is continuing, whether it's traumatic or not.

@Jess I completely understand however i’ve never disregarded her trauma, so for her to do this to me and say im not allowed to say ive experienced something traumatic is very frustrating trauma looks different for everyone i understand her situation is trauma for her and as her cousin for her to disregard my trauma just because she’s had it worse off is upsetting, im really traumatised after experiencing hg with emetophobia and a lot more i’ve experienced i just cba to go into as i’ve experienced sm this pregnancy, yes i understand they’re on different levels but trauma is trauma, she hasn’t contacted me this whole pregnancy until now until she decided to argue with me over this x

But you're still gonna get your baby. The trauma is horrible... but there's a light at the end of the tunnel. She doesn't have that light. She has pain, loss, a lack of hope. I'm not saying what she's doing is right. I'm saying she's lashing out and probably isn't a good friend for you right now. You need compassion and empathy and support. Sounds like your friend is in no mental headspace to give it, understandably x

Your trauma & her trauma are over different things, but you have got along with your trauma something she would dream of. Also not only are you both having something traumatic going on, she is also greiving the child she lost. Grief can do funny things to people & make it hard to think logically, logically you have had a traumatic pregnancy, but she can’t see that right now due to her grief

You’re not in the wrong at all. You’ve both had different traumas and fortunately you will get your baby at the end. She sadly didn’t. But she isn’t right to say it hasn’t been traumatic for you. Being sick all through pregnancy and up to 30 times a day is traumatic for anyone, never mind if you have a phobia of being sick.

Hey I feel for you both. You both aren’t wrong, I mean this isn’t right time to argue even if she may have. She isn’t in right head space, I’m sure you feel for her too but she probably isnt more in right position to empathise on u. It’s no competition, being through rough pregnancy journey and also have bad outcome such as still birth is equally traumatic to both of you. There is no right and wrong here. I think either way, you both should get professional support so both of your cases do not go more severe. I hope things turn out good for you after this journey and may be you both can reconcile. I agree nobody’s trauma should be dismissed but right now it’s not the time for her to agree or disagree with her. You’re not wrong to say you are feeling traumatic too but to expect her to understand your feelings isn’t the right time. Try to focus on ur remaining preg days in positivity rather than hung on this. I’m sure thgs will get better for both of u . Time heals.. ☹️