Advice

Partners ex messaged to say she's taking SD on holiday 25th June for 2 weeks and that we can have SD from 21st up until they go away. She knows I'm due on the 19th June, and although I know babies just do not come on their due date, part of me is feeling like it's been done on purpose and I'm not sure how to deal with it? SD is 5, we have her every weekend, and she is going through a phase of screaming from her bed in the middle of the night for attention. She used to get up and come into our room if she needed a drink / wee etc. But now she just stays in bed and screams until one of us goes into her. I've told my partner that I am not going to be able to cope with that on the chance that baby does come on time. I will potentially 2 days postpartum trying to navigate being a new mum, looking after a new born and then having SD screaming 4 or 5 times throughout the night, too, just seems too overwhelming if I'm honest. I'm happy for her to come and visit and spend time with us during the day but I just don't think I could cope overnight too. I've suggested she spends time in the day with us and goes and stays with his mum and dad overnight as they only live down the road. Is this unreasonable? I obviously don't want her to not be here at all as then she'll go on holiday for 2 weeks and we won't get to see her atall and she won't get to meet her baby brother or sister., but I also feel like I need to be selfish in this instance.

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You only get to experience first baby once and you will be recovering, it's not unreasonable at all

Not unreasonable at all. The first few days are a complete blur but also the best days. My SS came to us the day after I got out of hospital and I hated it. He came to us ill so instead of being with us for 2 days it was 9. I had all of my HV appointments and he just sat in the room staring at them! It was a horrible experience and I still have some resentment towards him and my partner because of it

It's not unreasonable at all. My SD was around a lot when our daughter was first born, when we'd barely get to see her usually, and whilst it was lovely for a short period of time it got way too much. I honestly couldn't manage more than a couple of hours at a time.

I still regret not just having the three of us when we first got home. I had to stay in hospital for five nights after birth as I was unwell. We weren’t meant to have SD on our first night back. I don’t even remember the reason why we did end up having her. I wouldn’t say she made it unpleasant but I do wish I had of had just me, my partner and baby for night one. I was recovering and tired but we had a six year old to entertain.

We didn’t see my stepson for 3 weeks over my due date because we knew if I went into Labour she wouldn’t answer the phone to take him back and my husband would miss the Labour, also stepson had a constant cough we didn’t want newborn getting

Not unreasonable at all, you should be able to enjoy the time the three of you when you first get home and you sound like you will be very inclusive of stepchild so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

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