Silly things kids say.

There’s a child in my son’s class who has autism. He was extremely violent especially to little girls and my son last year. This year has been worse. About a month or two ago, he told my son he was going to bring a gun to school and shoot him. Two days ago, he punched him in the face (I have a photo) and today, he threatened him with a KNIFE. The school called to tell me immediately which I appreciated. But then AFTER school, or as I’m waiting in the drive line I get a call from the principal. She laughed the whole thing off. She said it’s just “normal” for kindergartners and just “silly things kids say and do”. I am beyond fed up with them not doing anything about this, so by the point she justified it I got a bit of an attitude. I’ll admit that. Then they started talking over me, interrupting me, not allowing me to speak. I flat out told her, I will hang up if you keep interrupting me. She interrupted me within seconds later. I hung up and hit the fuck you button when she called back a minute later. I do not understand how and why this school would justify threats to my child’s LIFE as normal or silly things kids say/do. This boy beat a little girl up so badly last year she was hospitalized. Yet it’s sooo funny and “normal” that he has threatened to KILL my child? His SISTER is scared of him and she’s like late teens/early 20s. His sister said that the parents do absolutely nothing to correct his behavior, which don’t get me wrong I totally get that some things like this can be fully normal with a child with autism. I have a niece who is autistic, and my uncle was as well. So I totally get it to an extent. But it is clear that they will not take action despite how terrified I am to send my son to school every day. Would they even do anything if this child does what he’s threatening? We’ve spoken to the superintendent but he’s just about as useless. Any other child would be expelled/have the cops called on them REGARDLESS of age. MY child would be expelled/have the cops called if he threatened another child. So why aren’t we holding every child to the same standard regardless of them being special needs/not? These things do NOT happen in kindergarten. There is no fucking possible way it’s NORMAL for a child to repeatedly threaten to kill another. No goddamn way. What the hell do I need to do to make them take ACTION before my child is hurt or worse?! Update: I just wanted to thank everyone for the understanding, love and support. I am typing out an email to the school board as we speak, will be filing a police report tomorrow if they will let me. I’m not as pissed off as I was earlier. But I’d be lying if I said I felt comfortable even sending my child to school at this point. We are in discussion of sending him a town over next year, and we’ve also talked about me homeschooling. We haven’t made a concrete decision. The ONLY way he will be going to this district next year is if this other child is not.

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I would go to anyone who would listen. See if you can file a police report. They might laugh at you for filing a report against a kindergartener but at least then there's a paper trail. I wouldn't trust the school not to "lose it." Keep making a stink. Go to board meetings and address it. That is absolutely ridiculous and not "normal."

In the UK we have parents & governors board for schools that you can report things to. If you don't have like a PTA, write your complaint in officially detailing incidents times etc and copy in the police. Advise you will only deal with this matter in written format and you want the parents notified of their son's threatening behaviour. You want to be notified of how this behaviour will be corrected and dissuaded in future. Advise them that if action is not taken you will notify regulatory bodies (we have ofsted in the uk) and in addition the local press - but obviously not the child's name in the press.

Ummmm not to be crazy but call the cops fr. Tell them you want a restraining order on this kid for your son and that he has physically assaulted him and threatened his life. If the child is this bad they won’t get better without serious help. It’s not wrong to punish a kid even if they have autism because I fully believe they would kill someone if they felt like it by middle school age. My brother also has SEVERE autism and I will say he is violent to some extent. However, he goes to a special school throughout the year (no long summer break, I think it’s only 2-3weeks) and this helped him learn how to talk and interact with ppl. They are pretty well off and yet they are still able to get some state funding for this school. So, it’s totally an option that kid could have. My brother is 8 and yet has never pulled a knife on someone or threatened them in such serious manner. Kids learn those things from seeing or hearing them. The parents must watch shows with guns, knives, fighting.

Special Education Teacher here (until I became a SAHM last year). Write a formal email including all admin, the county's safety official, the superintendent and anyone else (if your county has a special education director, include them as well). Use the term bully and bullying a LOT. It triggers a system including a mandatory investigation (also make sure you request it). Threaten getting the police involved. Do not stand down nor be lenient just because of ASD. While I've never been the parent, I have been the nanny to a little girl who was hurt by a bully at school and they wouldn't even change his class only hers (not OK to penalize the victim), I've been the teacher to the bully and to the victim (once in the same class) that I personally fought to get to safety. Keep pushing until things change. If they keep resisting insist your child get a private homebound teacher for their safety. Any request that costs the county money, usually ignite actions.

Along with what everyone else is saying, is it an option to change schools? This is one of my fears for my own son, I am so sorry you and your son are going through this. I know autism can be coupled with aggression but I agree this was learned at home so the child may not even have a safe environment himself. This is way too young an age for such serious threats and for the school to not take it seriously, probably because he is autistic. I hope they help find a solution. Sending love to you ❤️

Special needs or not that doesn’t give anybody the right to harm anyone else. If this child can’t be controlled due to his autism or whatever it may be, then he needs a personal para with him 24/7 which would be in this child’s IEP. That’s probably why the school is dragging their ass. It costs a ton of money. Next time do what I did when some boy punched my daughter. I got the text from her. Got in the car. Called 911 and said I need an officer to meet me at this school immediately. And then I hauled ass. The officer was mandated to write a report, and the parents actually got fined for the child’s behavior. Maybe then the parents will realize their child needs extra help and force the school to do something.

Ps- don’t think of it as calling the cops on a child. You’re calling the cops on the parents of that child, and the school because they will be the ones needing to take action or have repercussions. Personally- I wouldn’t be surprised if the child’s parents have no idea what’s going on. It seems like the school doesn’t want to dish out money to get this kid help. Atleast this way you’ll have ur paper trail that I guarantee the school is pushing under the rug

I have a child with autism. He has violent outbursts and talks about dying frequently. It's not easy for him. But that is no excuse to hurt others. He gets punished the same as his siblings when they act out. The school is probably trying to brush it off because they don't have the right support for him in place and it's their fault he does these things. I had to fight very hard for every little bit of support my son currently gets. If the parents aren't bothered themselves they won't demand the support needed. My oldest is currently bullied by a boy who supposedly has special needs and "doesn't understand". He bashed my son's head into the football cage and strangled him. As a "punishment" he was given an iPad to "calm down". Then his mother shouted abuse at me in the streets. I've asked for solutions but school is unwilling so I will be emailing the school board next week after the holiday.

i agree with everyone suggesting a paper trail. i would ask the principal and teacher to write an incident report and get a copy of it. i’d even tell the principal to write out about the conversation you had where it was laughed off and make her sign it. use that with the police, because to me violence is violence no matter the age or special needs. god forbid something else happens to your son. i’d raise hell if a kid threatened mine like that, let alone punched him in the face. good luck mama! protect your baby!

If you can I would pull him out for the rest of the year. Check the rules for your state on your local FB homeschool group page. You may just need a simple letter of intent to the school, not a full curriculum and plan in place. I’m terrified for your child. And FUCK that kid. People can be autistic and also be BAD PEOPLE. I was victimized by one who still stalks me 15 years later. He’s autistic (which is fine) but he’s also a predatory asshole who has been told clearly what not to do, and yet he still does it. Autism does not excuse threats and abuse.

Something similar is happening to my kinder and 1st grader. (The kids are siblings so I know they have a ROUGH home life). But regardless, choking, threatening to kill, poking eyes, etc. Not okay. The school brushed it off and I found a charter school nearby that has a 3 chance bullying policy and I’m going there next year and if my kid tells me she feels unsafe going to school the rest of this school year, she’s not going. I’ve now told them once they set a boundary and they say what they will do if it gets broken, to push the kid to the ground or force them to get away from them and I will deal with it. I’m so sorry. So not okay and NOT normal for kindergarteners…..

@Kate I told my son if he gets punched or pushed or hit or anything again he is to hit back. And if he’s threatened? Shove the kid away from him, put him down on the ground, whatever he has to do to eliminate the threat at that second then run to a teacher. And if he gets in trouble? I will praise the fuck out of him for standing up for himself. Right in front of the principal.

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