Any wavy/curly girlies in this group?? I need advice 😭

I had a shift in my hair texture after I had my daughter, and I feel like I look SO horrible all the time because of my hair that I'm actually embarrassed to meet people or go out! My hair has always been somewhere on the wavy/curly spectrum, but I've never truly known how to care for it. You can't really tell from the photo, but my roots are a lot more curly than the rest of my hair, and I get INSANE frizz now because they won't blend in with the wavy hair that grew before. I used to get my hair done (baylage/bleach) once a year, and I only use heat on my hair once or twice a year, so I know my hair can't be too damaged, but I could be wrong. Up close, my hair is shiny and soft, barely any split ends or anything (definitely due for a trim, though). I basically feel lost because nothing I try seems to help. My hair is very fine, so I can't use too many products, but my hair is craving moisture. It sucks everything up almost immediately, and it tangles very easily. I also just don't understand why the middle section is barely wavy, but I get some legitimate curls and small waves at my ends. What is happening on my head?? Like I said, ladies, I just feel so ugly, but I want to embrace my natural hair.

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Looks like you need a cut. The tangling is probably from the damage from bleach and you probably could benefit from some layers to help the curls pop/ not be so weighed down. Also look up different styling methods that can help you get more definition

My hair has also been struggling postpartum, you’re not alone

I'm just gonna throw out a few products recs and what works for me. Most of my product choices are budget friendly, since yah bitch is broke, but occasionally I'll splurge. Eliza Vecca makes a collagen hair mask that's a popular dupe for Olaplex. I use this once a month or every other month. Elizavecca cer-100 collagen coating hair protein treatment 100ml https://a.co/d/1INkxW4 This is my favorite hair mask of all time. It makes my hair so soft and shiny, and the smell is absolutely incredible. I typically use this once a week. (I wait for the price to be in the $15 range on Amazon) Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla Hair Smoothie for Curly, Wavy or Natural Hair, Shea Butter Hair Mask For Dry and Dull Hair, 8 Oz https://a.co/d/h7raqmi Getting the right moisture/protein balance for your hair is so important to its health.

@Blayze I've always been scared of layers since my hair is not very thick 😬 It does make sense that it would help, though... I'm thinking about going to a curly hair specialist sometime soon, and I'll probably do whatever they recommend. I just really want to keep a lot of length 😭 I was never able to grow it past my shoulders when I kept it super blonde. I stopped bleaching my hair for several years, and it started growing out a lot longer, but I still didn't treat it like curly hair. I hated my darker hair, so I starting do a little bleach once a year even through I knew better lol I plan to just keep my hair natural now and focus on texture and health, rather than color. I just feel so embarrassed. My daughter has the most gorgeous curly hair, and I don't have to do anything for it to look perfect. She gets it from my side of the family, but my hair looks so bad that people ask me all the time where she gets her curls from. I'm just like, it's me 😅 I just don't know how to take care of my hair haha

Technique wise, I like a lot of what the curly girl method suggests, but I don't necessarily stick to their products recommendations. They have a whole sub on Reddit that you might want to check out/post to for good advice. I wash once a week, detangle in the shower, apply my curl cream and/or gel while my hair is wet by leaning over so my head is upsidedown and scrunching it all in, and then dry my hair with a microfiber towel by "plopping." I tend to keep my hair braided to help prevent tangles, and sleep in a bonnet with a silk/satin pillowcase. A little light oil goes a long way for smoothing frizz, but mostly treating my hair gently keeps it from frizzing too much. I hope this helps!

I think the curly hair specialist is a great idea! And a little bleach here and there won’t hurt as long at it’s moisturized properly and has enough protein like Raqi just mentioned. Bleach just makes your hair super high maintenance. I’m sure you’ll figure it out and it’ll look exactly how you want it ❤️ I think focusing on the health of your hair is a good idea if you want to preserve your curls/ waves Keep me posted! Feel free to message me with questions or ideas 😊

@Raqi Thank you! I remember reading about curly hair needing protein, and it did make it sound like that is part of my issue, but it scared me when it said getting too much could cause hair loss. Like what! Basically, the more I learn, the less I understand haha

@Raqi That definitely helps! I'll probably ask reddit too haha Do you diffuse your hair at all? I have always air dried my hair, and I'm learning that that may not be the best option, but I don't even own a blow drier, so I can't just try it out and see if it works for me, ya know?