am i wrong??

Can the other couple move in maybe once the baby is 6 months to a year? I agree with everything you’re saying and he should be more considerate and thoughtful of you but if he won’t budge then maybe that could be a compromise to have them move in later

@Samantha i suggested that! he is just keen on taking advantage of the house he wants now, but he literally came up with the idea not even a week ago. i told him he’s moving too fast. he wants to break our current lease in the next month or two, and move to the house and have the other couple move in shortly after. he tried to compromise by saying they could stay until february. i told him he’s getting too ahead of himself because 1) how does he know they will be okay with that? they currently live in an amazing apartment that we’ve visited a few times and they never spoke of moving anytime soon. let alone moving somewhere for a few months and then having to find somewhere else to stay. i know my husband, he would try to make that work and then when february comes, he would ask about having them stay longer. i even tried to compromise by asking if he could look for a duplex, where it’s one house but separated so we would still have privacy. no luck.

Is he in a place where he can’t afford a house without the other couple living there or is he just putting this business gain above you and your baby? You’re newly married and I’m assuming this is your guys first baby together and it seems like that’s less of a priority to him. Unless he is in a super hard financial situation, he should be more excited and thoughtful to make the pregnancy and arrival of this baby as seamless as possible

You can’t rely on having roommates forever- if he can’t afford to buy and live in a house without roommates then what’s he doing buying the house to begin with. And if he CAN afford it without the roommates, he’s just being greedy at this point for putting this above his new family

@Samantha not at all! he is in the military and makes great money and currently the military is giving him $ for the place we live in now and will be giving him $ for the next place. money isn’t an issue. he even told me his main priority with this is the money. he says he wants to be able to build generational wealth and provide for me and baby. which i understand. i currently am not working, i start a new job next month working for my mom but i wont be able to stay long before baby comes. he’s telling me this would be a “small sacrifice” to set us up for later. which i understand but again the roommate thing is not ideal with a newborn

@Samantha the og plan was for us to move to a bigger apartment with our current roommate and he is going to take a loan out to buy a house to rent out for other military families but that totally changed

I see his perspective and it’s very respectable for him to be thinking this way to provide extra for his family but in my opinion, you guys already are set up to calmly and peacefully welcome the birth of this new baby without stressing financially so he should agree to hold off on his plans Maybe if you explain to him a bit of what postpartum entails and why it’s so important for you to only be focusing on healing and caring for your baby as a first time mother

That’s just my perspective 🫣

Honestly all your feelings are so valid! The last thing you want to do when coming home from the hospital is having people all in your space area! Newborns have a lot of things that come with them so for us personally it took up a lot of space all over the house! We breastfed so we never enjoyed having people over during newborn stage because I was still learning how to feed and in the beginning it’s hard to do with a shirt on! A duplex honestly seems like a good idea! We are military as well! Have you ever thought of just staying in the apartment and buying a small house and renting it or finding a couple/family that is looking? Being in the military area you will always be able to find a family pcs there that will need a home. With a VA Loan you can use it multiple times there is no down payment and the first month normally you don’t pay mortgage yet! Rent now is more expensive than a mortgage so you could be bringing in some money! I hope you find a solution for your family!

No. But ( despite being a business owner with a successful career) I don’t always agree with the American mindset of money money money… I moreso find It important to have good quality of life with the money you make..saving to buy a massive home And live with multiple people in a home… is it really worth your comfort or sanity at this time? It wouldn’t be for me..

1. Sounds like he already crossed a boundary by already requesting the house even though you weren’t 100% yes about it. 2. Will he be around? or will he be gone and you’re stuck with the potential other married couple and? 3. You guys are in a new chapter and season of life. The sacrifice is actually just being together as a family, without any of the extra people around. 4. All of your feelings and concerns are valid and should be recognized because however you’re feeling is being transferred to your baby, and if you’re in a home that you’re uncomfortable with your baby will feel that and you won’t be able to show up to your partner as a loving, wonderful wife, you’ll be full of resentment and feeling like you’re having a walk on eggshells within your own home. Set your boundaries stick to your guns and stand up for what you want, remember to have Grace because in his eyes, he is doing everything to provide, and create generational wealth for your family To protect & love you.

Except for extreme/emergency reasons, as a married woman and now a mom, I would not ever live with roommates. especially another married couple.

@Monica this!! we talked about staying in this apartment which isn’t ideal because of the quality of the place but i would rather stay here where im comfortable while he gets a house and rents it out for other couples. thank you for your insight

@Brittany girl i know🤦🏽‍♀️ and it was crazy because right before he left to go see the house we had an argument about it and he ended up changing his mind saying we’d move somewhere just us. then comes back a few hrs later and tells me he put in an offer and tried to convince me to change my mind again about the other couple moving in, claiming he would be dumb not to take advantage of a perfect home and opportunity. completely blindsided me. he will be around for 12 weeks for pat. leave but will go back to working full time after that. i assume i would be stuck with the other couple while he’s at work. i try to have as much grace as possible, even offering other options. he tends to get too excited about things and jumps the gun without thinking about all the possible outcomes and realities. he even suggested at one point i go live with my mom with the baby and he lives in the other house! he redacted that quickly though by saying “no i want to be with baby” like what about me???

@Usinger my thoughts exactly. if it were a dire circumstance i would reconsider but money is not an issue. he claims this “small sacrifice” on my part will be beneficial for us later, but im not thinking about later. i’m thinking about this sensitive time right now and when baby is born. it’s just too much.

@Lauren i agree! i understand and appreciate that he wants to set us up for future wealth, but the timing is just awful. and he isn’t being considerate of me and the baby, as well as the other people he’d be asking to live with us. i would feel so bad subjecting the others to life with a newborn, especially knowing they are people who don’t want kids of their own. i told him it’s a boundary of mine and he just dismissed it.