3 year old tantrums

Highly recommend the book, "Good Inside" - Life changer! :)

When my toddler and I get locked into an argument and I can feel my ugly side coming out, I try to take a moment and then say to her “can we reset?”. It’s very done it a few times followed by explaining why I am upset. Now she uses that phrase and we have our own little therapy sessions post-meltdown (hers and/or mine) and it’s pretty cute to hear a 3-yr old say “I was upset because…”. … but those days where neither of us can reset? Honestly, I pick her up, put her on her bed, and tell her that when she’s ready to (whatever it is… pick up the toy she threw, start talking nicely, etc.), then she can come out. I don’t close the door… I just let her decide and if the behavior repeats I do it again, usually while using a fairly cross or firm tone.

Every child Is entitled to feel what they feel. With that being said violent outbursts, hitting things, throwing things, kicking and screaming is simply not allowed in the house. Anything short of that is probably not that big a deal. But in extreme cases a 3-5 minute time out is in order. I always explain why as he's doing whatever action led him to be in trouble. When he's not in trouble anymore, I talk to my 3 year old son and explain for the 2nd time why he got in trouble. At some point I think they will begin to identify at least at a little where the frustrations are really coming from and how to fix things the next time based on our talk. My system isn't perfect every time but identifying why he's upset is key in emotional intelligence and will give him more control and serve him better in the future.