Am i in the wrong?

Why are you trying to please crazy people?

You are not in the wrong at allll!!!!! Personally I think there’s no need for a baby to stay the night with anyone else you ask to have baby watched overnight! And even if you did want to bottle feed eventually you could try pumping so baby can still have your milk and not formula!

You’re his mother so it’s your choice. Don’t let other people tell you how to raise your child

@Kaitlan idk tbh, it's just they've always found excuses to hate me and I'm kinda bored of being hated, i just feel like i could've mixed fed from the beginning but i didn't due to my 2 older children always in hospital from formula

i’ve only breastfed my LO as well and to get him to spend the night over at my parents i pump along with feeding him so they have extra to feed when he’s staying there. maybe that’s an option? whatever you decide you know your child best and should do right by the LO not anyone else in my opinion. i don’t think your in the wrong at all and you’re doing a great job!

You should never thinking that you’re stuck in the middle of a nonsense dynamic like this. They are trying to coerce you to do what they want, and sabotaging what you, as the mother, wants for her child. It sounds like the more you try to give, the more they intend to take.

You should do what's best for your baby though above all else. You're not responsible for their behaviour. I'm sorry they hate you but is it worth your baby's health to potentially have a relationship with them cuz seems like whatever you do it'll never be enough and again that's not your fault. I personally wouldn't trust them alone with my child

WHO and UNICEF recommend that children initiate breastfeeding within the first hour of birth and be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life – meaning no other foods or liquids are provided, including water.... maybe they are not aware of this ? I would send them some resources so they can educate themselves. there is also the option to pump and prep bottles. I personally didn't allow any overnight stays away from my baby until he was 10 months old. And even then it was sooooo hard and stressful. Do what you want girl! your body your baby your choice, you don't owe anyone any explanation when it comes to that.

You aren’t in the wrong. You can feed your baby however you want. I would ask your partner to have a serious conversation with them because the way they are treating you is not ok. It’s your baby, not theirs, and they have no right to spend any time with them at all unless you say so.

Thank you all so much, i really appreciate the lovely comments

@Kaitlan i have told them numerous times that he can't go on formula due to his body rejecting it and they called me a liar and a selfish B****

Do they know you've tried formula? Surely they can see you made an effort (not that you should have to). You are not selfish, you are doing brilliantly! There are many other ways to bond with a baby. They should be grateful for any time they spend with your wonderful baby boy.

I really hope your partner is being significantly more supportive to you than his family are 💕

@Katie yes they know and they think i should go hospital with him to get a formula that works but i refused because I don't see the point if he's healthy with breast milk

@Rosa he is, he's told me that he's okay waiting till I'm ready and i can just pump meanwhile

I hope he’s also giving you support in regard to the way they are speaking to you and treating you. You need proper boundaries and support.

That’s your baby. Do what’s best for him and you 🩵

@Rosa he's tried they've just told him that I'm not thinking about anyone else's feelings (they're not wrong in a sense im thinking about my son's health more)

@Emera i try my best, I'm just sick of the name calling and the hatred, i plan on breast feeding until he's 2

Think about your health, think about your son’s health. Your partner needs to continue to support you. And I’d suggest seeing a lot less of them for a significant while. They sound horrible.

What a load of bullshit from them. You are feeding bub and doing what’s best for him and if you ever wanted bub to have an overnight stay you can try and express beforehand and see how you go. No one has the right to demand you to leave your child with them. Sounds to me it’s more a selfish issue from then wanting to take over and time all to themselves more than an issue with you. Have you spoke to your partner about it? Maybe explain to him how this is making you feel and he can have your back. Stick to your guns mama you know what works best for you both 💪🏻💙

@Kimberley thank you and I have spoke to him and he's tried talking to them, they don't listen

@Emera it's really difficult because this is the first relationship I've had that I'm happy in and the man treats me so good, but it's also the first one I've where the family doesn't like me, before my son was born their excuse was because my 2 eldest aren't his and that apparently makes me a sl**. But not their new excuse is that I'm keeping him from them because i breast feed

Please stick to your opinion! It’s best for you and your LO equally! How on earth is it possible a 4month baby could stay over night away from his mum???

Now*

@Sarah I've no idea, he stayed away once and i was so uneasy I couldn't sleep even tho he was with his dad. He didn't sleep for his dad and kept him awake all night

I mean this with all of my heart: F*** them. Absolutely not. You are doing great, and you need to keep that baby away from weirdos who don't love his mom. And if they keep pushing say "I think it's perverted for people to try to push for a baby to be alone without it's mother"

@Annie they've not seen him since they said it and they're now blocked

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It made me sad to read .. being a mum is already so hard and they are just making life harder for you. You know your baby best and you are his mother and no other opinion or decision is more important than yours.

@Bhar thank you, it's really difficult but even tho I've put my foot down i still feel like I'm in the wrong

Who cares what they think! At the end of the day, you're the one stuck taking care of him when he gets sick. I swear some people need to learn to mind their business, yes including family members. And some partners need to be more supportive. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Girl!!! Your baby ! You feed him how you want! They don’t get a say!

@Yadira my partner is very supportive

I can tell you, I added formula and started pumping because I was told I needed to by family that he wasn't getting enough milk. And then he stopped wanting to nurse all together and would only take the bottle. And 4 months later it still breaks my heart and I'm so so so sad he doesn't breastfeed anymore. Do not do anything that you don't feel is right for you and your baby. (Oh and he was gaining weight super appropriately and his pediatrician wasn't concerned at all) If I feel conflicted about something, I've started asking myself, what would I do if no one had shared their opinion? How would I feel on the topic? I hope that helps 🤗

You’re definitely not in the wrong. Your milk is important for your child’s health. Continue doing what you’re doing and don’t let anyone else’s opinion sway you

I think it’s hilarious when people say breastfeeding is selfish. They clearly have no idea. It’s as far from selfish as you can possibly be. How selfish of you to feed your baby in a way that is proven to be best for their development and immune system. Ridiculous. Honestly as long as your partner is on your side then keep them all blocked and ignore them. It is no one’s business how you raise and feed your child. If your baby is thriving do what you are doing, it’s the best thing for baby and you are being far from selfish doing it. Honestly breastfeeding is hard, physically and mentally there is nothing at all selfish about it!

That’s good that he’s on the same page as you. Time for him to set some firm boundaries and make it clear his family come first and that their opinions are not wanted.

Breastfeeding is so much better for a baby what the heck is wrong with his family?

End of the day it’s your child you do what’s best for your child and forget what they say f breast milk is what your child prefers so be it they’ll deal with it don’t feel like you have to change your whole routine for someone else and are you producing enough milk to store it so If they want him overnight they’ll have your breast milk for him

Please stop trying to please these insane people. Selfish is caring so much about seeing a baby without their mum that you’d sacrifice them being breastfed which is the very best thing for them (I have nothing against formula but in this case your baby clearly thrives with breast milk) in order to achieve this. People like this can never be pleased. You’d get baby onto formula and then they’d find something else to pick on. Protect your baby and your breastfeeding bond from them at all costs ❤️

Wow! Do they not know how good breastfeeding is for the baby, compared to formula? If you are able to breastfeed you are so lucky, many would kill to be able to do so - your family should be supporting you in every way possible to keep going! They’re the ones being selfish and if it was my husband’s family, I would stop allowing visits until they started showing some respect!

Oh my goodness no you're not in the wrong at all. They need to have a long hard look at themselves in the mirror and stop behaving in such a manipulative and silly manner. Breastfeeding is the most natural way to feed your baby, your baby is thriving on it and you can do it. I formula feed my baby because I didn't produce enough milk and he was hungry. We are both feeding our babies, to ask someone to change how they feed their baby is preposterous. You stick to your guns girly, you're in the right!

Don’t stress about it, you only have to do right by your baby, if they don’t understand then that’s their problem.

you’re not in the wrong at all! they need to realise that he is your child & how you feed him is your choice. they need to realise babies are not toys and that they would be able to have him overnight when he’s older. i had a similar situation with my sons dads family and it ended our relationship completely because he would take their side on it. problem is everyone wants to have baby all the time when they’re younger but as they get older all that disappears. he’s your son just stick to what is best for you and him. if they don’t agree that’s their loss X

Girl F them folks! lol 😂 that’s your baby breastfeed him! You can pump and start putting breastmilk in a bottle so they can help feed if you want but ultimately screw them. Breastmilk is the best for your baby. Formula has cow milk in it that’s probably why he isn’t keeping it down

Absolutely not. You are not in the wrong. It is your choice how you feed your child and not theirs. That is so insane to even think they would demand that.

No your doing the best thing for your baby, your breast milk is literally made for your baby and is the best thing for them, they’re being selfish by even suggesting formula

Girl, you do what is best for you and your baby. Fuck them I chose to breastfeed despite everyone’s nasty or rude comments. My sister was my number cheerleader! My son never had formula. Didn’t take a bottle after he was 2 months old. (The one and only night I had my sister watch him) she watches him periodically for me now too but he’s on regular milk now

who cares what they say. You know whats best for your baby, YOUR baby not theirs. If they dont like it they no longer have a grandchild

Maybe it’s just me but overnights at/before 4 months old? WTF. The cost you’re saving your family by breastfeeding alone is HUGE and they should be so thankful. When I gave birth in January 2022 there wasn’t even formula available and it all came at premium costs. I felt so grateful to be able to breastfeed and was so stressed out making sure we were successful cause my first born struggled. Like others have commented, trying to make your baby take formula to please them may make you lose your milk or even cause your baby to stop feeding from you. People that are going to make you feel like that don’t truly care for your children because what’s best for the baby is for mom to be healthy and able to care for baby (in my opinion). If you’re going to support or suggest something that makes it harder to care for my baby by making me miserable I have no time for you 🤚 Hope dad is supportive / understanding ❤️❤️❤️ can’t imagine how hard this would be!