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I think we’re missing context .. she’s saying to put your dog down just because you’re not cleaning?
You shouldn’t have gotten a dog when you don’t have your own place. Is there someone that can take care of the dog until you two get your own place? Putting dog down because of whatever your bf mom called lazy is not fair to the dog.
Ik that it must not be easy for the both of you but you’re in their house and they’re letting you live there. It’s both of your responsibility to clean up and personally I would’ve never got a dog if I didn’t have own place. A dog is a big responsibility and it’s not fair for the dog that you guys aren’t doing what you need to be doing. I would give to the dog to someone who can actually take care of it
Some more background: she believes that since he is a pit bull, he will eventually become very aggressive and hurt the other dogs in the home. I will admit he has bitten me before but that’s because everyone was yelling and I was the closest person to him. I don’t blame the dog at all it’s our faults for screaming and putting him in that kind of environment. He does jump a lot but what dog doesn’t? He’s only 9 months so of course he’s very energetic and always wants to play
@Florine Chan Li I agree, but it was a gift for our anniversary. Getting a dog was never a set plan & I couldn’t let him stay somewhere where they would just put him down
If pitbulls aren’t trained properly then yes they could eventually become aggressive. It takes time and patience to train them and no offense at all but if you guys can’t clean then how are you guys going to take the time to train and take care of him? It’s not fair for the dog at all.
@Diane yep and could eventually become an unsafe environment for baby. I’d never have an untrained pit bull that bites in stressful situations, babies cry and are loud at all times.
Pitbulls are incredible dogs, "the nanny dog" probably the best choice to have around babies/kids. But allllllllll dogs need proper training and stimulation. I agree that if you're not even able to keep your space clean; the walking, running, playing, and training probably isn't happening either, which will be a huge disservice to all of you in the future. If you truly want the dog, it's time to make some serious changes 🫶🏻
Advice, let someone adopt the dog. You two won't be able to care for a newborn properly if you're struggling with the dog and you're living with someone.
You guys can't care for yourselves, so you can't take care of a dog. Re-home it, because once the baby gets here you'll have your hands full enough. You're already not cleaning enough and the baby isn't even here yet. It gets harder with a baby, not easier, so figure your stuff out now.
Give the dog to someone who can properly care for it. If you’re not cleaning properly in someone else’s home you don’t need a dog on top of a newborn. Prioritize getting your own space so you won’t have these problems in the future. That’s what I would do. Sounds like what’s unfair is coming from your end not your mother in law.
@Britt yeah totally let’s just blame the dog due to my lack of being able to clean lol Btw I can & do want to move out, but she insists that we stay bc she wants to help us. I don’t want to be here but I also don’t want to be rude & say no to someone who is trying to help me
Nobody is blaming the dog. I feel bad for the dog. You should never get a dog if you’re unable to care for it especially a kind that needs a lot of training. That’s so unfair for the dog. Your boyfriend clearly doesn’t care about the dog since he’s not trying to do his part and he’s not going to clean because he’s living at his parent’s house and probably doesn’t care. If you can move out then do it. That’s not being rude that’s called being an independent adult. Idk how old you are but you’re having a child, it’s time for you and your partner to stop depending on his mommy and daddy and do things on your own.
@Diane I appreciate the advice and I agree. I never planned on having a dog of my own, but you’re right. He obviously doesn’t care enough or else he would be doing his part. Not sure how to tell someone “thanks for offering your help, and wanting us to live here, but I’m moving out” just sounds like I’m not being appreciative of what she’s offering me
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His parents want to help. Like help with baby when he/she arrives or help by letting you guys stay so you can save money to get your own place? I was also wondering, did your bf ask his parents if it was ok if he gets a dog?
Explain to her that she’s welcome to help, in your own space. This way she gets to be grandma, not second mom. Spin it so it’s helpful and less stressful for everyone.
Just being honest so don’t get offended but it kinda sounds like you’re using that as an excuse to keep depending on them and not have the responsibility of paying for your own place and the bills that come along with it. I don’t know what parent wouldn’t want their child to be independent and get their own place especially with a child on the way. You could simply tell her thank you for everything you’ve done I’m extremely grateful for all your help. Your son and I want to have our own home and we are excited for the next step we are taking… and who cares if she gets mad? It’s not like you’re a child and it’s your life. It’s normal for someone to move out of their parent’s house and get their own home especially with a child on the way!! I’m only 23 and my partner and I waited to buy our house before I pregnant, you get your own space and privacy and you have something that’s yours. Do you guys plan to stay there at her house when your child is born?
@Florine Chan Li I’ve honestly never asked her before. I think it’s a little bit of both? I know this is going to be her first grandchild so she wants to be involved as much as possible. As for the dog, I couldn’t tell you for sure bc it was never something my bf discussed with me. He surprised me with it but I assume so?
@Courtney this actually sounds like a great plan! Thank you for the advice! Like I’m grateful she wants to help and let us live here but as I get closer to my due date it’s just stressing me out more and more.
How is it rude? Just tell them that you've gotten your affairs in order so that you can move, and it'd be beneficial for everyone. Also, if she's saying that you're lazy, I don't think she's very inclined to continue helping you. Sounds like she's reached her limit. I guarantee she's not thrilled about her son and his girlfriend having sex under her roof 😭. That's weird... Naturally, parents want their adult kids to get their own place.
@Diane my grandma would NOT let me move out until my daughter was 1 and I had enough. My bf and I couldn’t sleep in the same room, we couldn’t go out, we couldn’t show PDA, and we never really got to parent how we wanted. It was always what she wanted and how she raised her kids. She was a very controlling woman. We originally moved in to save up for a place across the state from where we were originally (better pay where she was) and we were going to be out before baby was born. However she didn’t like that. So she made it impossible to save money, and both of our mental health declined. Mind you, my bf was super abusive and would make everything worse than it needed to be but I digress. Some people think they’re helping but are really just helping themselves. They don’t want their kids (my case, grandkids) to leave because they’d feel like they were losing something. Connection, control, to be involved… there’s tons of reasons
Never assume your partner did something. Talk to her yourself
@Courtney I’m sorry you had a very controlling grandma and had to go through that. I moved to NY with my bf when I was 19 and my dad was very controlling and told me I wasn’t going and I did it anyways because at the end of the day I make my own decisions and nobody had a gun to my head forcing me to stay. I’m sure you didn’t either. I would’ve left my bf if he was abusive especially if I had my child because I wouldn’t want to put her through that. At the end of the day your child doesn’t pick their dad you do so you always have to be careful who you keep in your life and who you continue a relationship with. Everyone has control of their life and should never give anyone else the power to have control over them. We can all make our decisions and it’s important to have boundaries regardless if they’re family. I truly hope you’re happy living your best life with your daughter. You’re a beautiful woman! Don’t take shit from nobody. It’s your life and we only get one
i’d get him into some professional training after reading his history. but he doesn’t sound like a bad dog. just needs some guidance and structure
Why on earth does the dog need to die because you're not doing chores? Tbh I'd try to dip out of there ASAP. For now, I'd clean the house spotless and be like "there. Now leave my dog out of this"