Does your family call before coming over or no?

So my husband and I have been together 10 years. His family is really close. The used to come over unaccounted and spend days at our home. (And no they do not live out of town. We stay in the same city and they just would not go home!) His Mom… His Brother… His Sister her boyfriend and thier kids! At one point his mom stayed for months at a time! It’s a lot to deal with. About 2 years ago I told him they should call before they come over. Especially if they are going to spend the night. And this has been an ongoing fight between us. He says my family comes by all time without calling. My family does call but when they come by it’s for a few minutes. They may stay to watch a movie no longer. We all like staying at our own homes!His family stopped coming over last year. But last night he said they feel uncomfortable around me. Because they have always been close. And they don’t see why things should have to change. I never said they shouldn’t come over. But damn they could at least call a few minutes before to say hey am stopping by for the night or whatever. All I am asking to much?

Show your support

Girl it’s Called boundaries and that’s what you want. It’s not a lot to ask for at all. I completely understand. I need my space too lol.

If someone expects to get in the door they plan ahead and ask me. I was raised to respect other people's homes so I require respect for mine

To completely stop coming over instead of just compromising and calling beforehand is silly. It could be so simple.

I’m with you on this. They should give you the heads up before coming - family or not, you have your own home and life together with your husband and children now. His family should respect that

My husband feels like I am being unreasonable! He says they have always come and go as they pleased from each others homes. And that they are not as close because of me. I am not trying to stand in the way of anything. If he want to spend time with them he goes over there. I have never stood in the way of that. His sister doesn’t even speak to me when she would come over. I am so angry. He wants me to extend an olive branch but I don’t feel like I have done anything wrong! And I feel like I am starting to resent him because he constantly wants me to be the bigger person.

Oh man, I could not cope with that. I love my in-laws but I need my SPACE. It’s not unreasonable to ask people to call before they come over and most people wouldn’t dream of staying over at someone else’s house without an invite. It’s insane to me that his family think this is normal but it’s also a shame that they now see you as ‘the problem’. Trust me, you are the normal one.

Oh hell no I don’t open the door if you don’t say you’re on the way. Also my front door mat says “Look at you showing up unannounced and shit”