My partner will never get it

So me and my partner almost split up several times when our daughter was born because his family (mainly his mum and sister) requested that they see my baby without me there. They told my partner I was nasty and controlling and must have something wrong with me because I didn't want to be away from my baby. I stood my ground. It was difficult, but I didn't give in to them. Our daughter will be 3 years old soon, and my partners family don't see her very often (because of how they acted, they have driven a huge wedge between us) I'm civil with my partners family, but I will never forgive them. They also walk around like I'm the bad person and don't admit they were in the wrong. Today, my partner started shouting and screaming at me, saying I keep our daughter from his family, I snapped back, saying "Your family caused this requesting to see a newborn away from their mother." After a while, my partber came up to me and hugged me and said sorry but I just feel so upset that he still thinks his "precious" family didn't cause this. I never had any issues before with them, but as soon as I gave birth, it was like they just hated me and wanted to see my baby but not me, and when I said no, they turned on me. There's no religion factor here either they are just very selfish entitled d*cks!!!!!!

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Am in the same boat hun give me a message if you want x

Im in the same boat except we split up bcos of it

insane how people think children being away from their mother is necessary or normal to want… i’m sorry you experienced this and that it still has an affect on your life now, that must be very frustrating

If you don’t like the mom, you don’t need to see the baby! Period!!

Stand your ground it’s absurd that they’d even request that and more reason for you to be concerned because in all honesty why would you want to see a newborn baby without their mum if you weren’t up to something it’s giving major red flags from the get go

I don’t think you should keep your baby away from a loving family just because you feel some type of way towards them. It’s wrong that they crossed a boundary which is easily communicable but your child deserves to have family around her. It’s wrong to isolate her. I don’t always agree with my MIL but I wouldn’t keep her away from my son because he deserves to have his grandma around.

@Leslie so hang on a minute you’d be okay with your mil doing this and then okay happy family’s after totally unbothered?

@NishaNo but it’s better to talk about it, & set some boundaries instead of building resentment and isolating the child.

@Leslie To make it more clear, I have never kept my daughter from his family even after they treated me so disgustingly. The only thing I have done is not let them bully me into doing what they want. They see my daughter, but I'm present, and it will stay that way until I feel comfortable otherwise.

@Leslie think you’re missing the point here love. She literally gave birth and they didn’t want to see her or show any support to her as 1 a human and 2 a new mumma. It’s common sense that baby will stay with mum for at least that first year of their life so in what world is it normal to ask to see a new born baby without the mum? Especially when this is prime time for breastfeeding and baby and mumma bonding. The only time you’d ask is if you wanted to do something which you know damn well the mother wouldn’t like. If that’s how you roll with your in laws and let them do whatever with your kids that’s on you but majority of mummas don’t do that and will always do what’s best for them and their baby.

Honestly everything else aside, the fact that they specifically requested you not be with the baby is insane. I think it says more about them than you. Just the audacity has me mad for you.

They're freaking insane. Immediately cut them off and I would keep my baby away too bc tf?

If you can explain to your husband, that when you married, you became a family, but his family have not accepted you as a part of their son/ brothers family. Which hurts you. And if they refuse to accept you and embrace you, then why should you allow your daughter to be around them without you there. If my in laws asked to see my son without me there I would straight up ask them why and tell them it’s weird and suspicious behaviour. They can’t pick and choose to have your daughter as their family but not you seeing as you are married to her dad, very much together. Really hope your husband is loyal to you and finds an understanding of how you feel in all of this, but also, sticks up for you