Is it over?

Read “love must be tough”, great examples as to what you can do to save this.

only you know this babe. but it would be over for me if i was in your position. i don’t believe in infidelity in any form, so i wouldn’t stand for it but that’s me. have you spoken to him about how you feel and told him this?

I don't think I'd be able to forgive this if it's been multiple times. It shows he's really not a loyal person. I think you need to either forgive him and move on, or ditch him. You're living in a sort of halfway house and that's not good for anyone.

This is difficult. You either have to forgive him or move on. He’s going to have to gain your trust back which takes a while. Something similar happened with my husband not too long ago. My friend from elementary school seen he had a dating profile. I decided to forgive him but I still have a little trouble trusting him. It’s tough. My husband wasn’t drunk but even if he was, it’s still not an excuse. I’m sorry you have to deal with this too. If you need anything, message me.

I think the key is in that first sentence, you don't trust him anymore. If you want any chance of fixing things then you need to rebuild trust (not just you, he needs to do a lot of work) and that's a huge thing to do. Personally, if I didn't trust my partner anymore because of something he did then that would be impossible to come back from and to me it wouldn't be worth it to fix it. Picture your life without him in it, can you? If so, are you happier? You deserve to be respected and feel wanted, if he's not doing the bare minimum then honestly, focus on you and go find someone who will!

No sex in 1.5 years, he's probably seeking that out. I mean it's a difficult one, because if you're sure you can't trust him and your harboring resentment, then let it go. It's not healthy imo to have a sexless, loveless marriage, and it's unsustainable for humans not to have sex, but still somehow maintain a connection.

It seems likely that it is. I think sometimes we don't even have control over it when someone just breaks that last little bit of love and trust in you. I personally couldn't forgive that behaviour either. Not to be rude but I find it hard that someone could be black out drunk and yet still have the capacity to think about cheating and actively message other women. To me black out drunk is passing out, falling over, vomiting, speaking utter nonsense then passing out... It just an excuse he's used for something he wanted to do regardless of drink.