Toddler not sleeping!

Hi everyone, I’m looking for ANY advice at this point. My 2.5 year old has yet to ever sleep through the night, I’m not sure if this is something I’m just going to have to deal with or if I’m doing something wrong. We have a solid bedtime routine.. quiet play, bath time, bedtime story, and we do play lullabies on YouTube kids for him, and he falls asleep in bed with me and then we transfer him to his own bed. We did cut out the bottle really late, he screamed and cried bloody murder until we gave it to him but we finally stuck with it and he is off it. He does sleep with a binky still, that fight is for another day. We have tried changing the bedtime routine, 1mg of melatonin (advised to do so by dr) and even tried cutting the dose in half first, leaving his door open at night, closing it, different night lights, lavender and camomile bed sprays, burning as much energy as we can before bedtime routine…NOTHING works. He is fine falling asleep, but then he will wake up several times in the middle of the night wanting to come to bed with us and will not go back to sleep until we let him. He will also sometimes wake up at 2/3 in the morning and is wide awake and full of energy and wants to sing and play and we can’t get him back to sleep no matter what we do. By the time he falls back asleep it’s 5:30 and we have to start getting up for work. We are first time parents so if anyone has any advice or guidance it would be much appreciated. We miss sleep!!!!
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What’s your daily schedule? Wake time, nap time and length, and bedtime? Split nights typically indicate being under tired, although in some cases it could be overtiredness instead. Do you do really active play before bed as well? Any medical red flags such as sleeping with his mouth open, snoring, etc? Does he have any oral ties? Is he falling back to sleep quickly if he’s in bed with you? If so, that’s typically a connection/separation anxiety, so you could use books and things like that to try to help him with that a bit more.

I have absolutely no advise but in exactly the same position. Our little one is is just under 2.5 but does not sleep through the night. We think it's transition to nursery at the moment as he wakes sometimes up to 5 times a night calling for mummy. I go into him and let him settle to sleep and then slowly leave the room he does sleep in a double bed, bit it's getting increasingly hard to leave his bed as I am early stage of pregnancy so shattered. I think he has only even slept a hand full of times ever. It's so draining but then I do like the cuddles in the night as one day he will not want cuddles

You can look at getting him adjusted by a pediatric chiropractor that way they can help focus on regulating his nervous system that might help him start getting restful sleep

Does he ever fall asleep in his own bed without you? I think that could be why he’s waking in the night and wanting to come into your bed. Everyone wakes up through the night and generally falls back to sleep, but babies and toddlers (and possibly young children) often need the same sleep environment that they fell asleep in to be able to drift off back to sleep, if that makes sense? It’s like when babies are held to sleep and then placed in their cot, majority of the time they will need help through the night to resettle.

Pretty normal. Toddlers want to be close to the people they are attached to. We bedshare so we don’t have the issue (we have a 1,2 and 3 year old) but they absolutely would wake up if they would be alone in their bed.

@GMF he usually gets up for the day around 7:30am, some days 6:30. He refuses naps during the day, we try but he hasn’t taken naps since he was one unless he’s super tired that day for whatever reason. Bedtime we start the routine at 7 and in bed laying down by 8:15-8:30. If he naps it takes until 10-11 to get him to actually fall asleep. He doesn’t usually snore but I’ve heard it on occasion. He does get a lot of active play in especially now during the warmer days, he also has a trampoline in the house so we “jump the sillies out” a few times a day. He typically falls asleep fast but there are times he fights it. I think I might have screwed myself by letting him sleep in the bed so much with me and not in his own.

@Stacey I feel for you being pregnant! I’m exhausted as it is I can’t imagine adding growing a human into that. You are a strong mama. Here’s to hoping our kiddos sleep through the night soon!

@Danielle didn’t think of that, great idea! Thank you :)

@Nikki-Lee he’ll fall asleep in his own bed if he’s tired enough but that’s only been a handful of times. I think this makes perfect sense, maybe we’ll switch to laying in his bed with him until he falls asleep! Thank you :)

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