Overwhelmed

What’s your husband doing to make up the lost hours? That’s his responsibility. the answer isn’t you getting a job, it’s him either replacing those hours or him getting a better job that pays more.

honestly nothing. I’m pretty much trying to figure out all this on my own.

oh then I’d leave that man. You’re struggling now and you’re about to struggle more getting a job so honestly struggle without him. Cutting him out of the picture reduces the amount of expenses you’ll have to work to cover so you’ll potentially struggle for a short period of time if you leave him vs staying with him. Men like this are legit ridiculous and women who do as much as you do shouldn’t be dealing with that nonsense.

if I leave him I literally have no where to go and I’m going from 1 to absolutely no help at all. My dad is who helped me and he passed away unexpectedly in January. I’ve asked my sister to help but she says she’s busy all the time. By busy I mean her boyfriend works, she lives with my mom, draws a check and sleeps and door dashes all day lol. I feel like I’m legit giving myself a heart attack at this point by stress levels.

oh boy, it sounds like your mom and sister could be stepping up to help you more. I know this sounds far out, but I really would suggest taking what you need and your kids to a shelter for a little bit until you are able to properly get on your feet. They’ll give you resources and help you find housing. It sounds horrible to go to a shelter, but for so many women it’s the very first step to a normal, happy, healthy life. You really are carrying enough stress to induce a stroke or heart attack, and then what? Your kiddos need you to be healthy. Please consider all your options, I can assure you you’re strong enough to walk even the most adverse path

There’s also the option of not changing much on your end but only paying the necessities as to keep the roof, water, & lights, and letting everything else go down until he steps up and provides the money to pay for everything again

He needs to step the fuck up or get out. Not waking up with 3 month olds at night time is bullshit they are his fucking kids if he can’t tend do the kids while ur trying to work then he needs to ask for more hours or get a whole other job all together. How’s he expect to be home at night while ur gone and not wake up with them that’s neglect.

maybe I should clarify that I have not started working yet, I’m looking. When I’m home because I do all care for the twins he will not get up, claims he doesnt hear them. I can’t tell you how it would be if I went to work considering I have yet to do so. Trying to work around my mom’s schedule so she can stay with them while I work a night or two a week in case of any situation.

I’ve been doing that but when he makes 1200 and our rent is 900 a month then $40 a day for formula it’s not easy plus we have a car payment, insurance, electric, gas. My mom helps when she has the opportunity to but she also works a full time job and her hours are long days.

he should still be waking up and tending to them to get used to waking up with them for when you do go to work. And if he can’t do that he needs to let you stay home and work something else. I’m sorry it going thru this and he’s not making it any easier he sounds like a baby and I’m sorry for saying so. I don’t wanna sound rude at all I just hate that he’s acting like that 🤐 it should be on him to tend to them while you work not ur mom :/

What’s he doing only making only $1,200 a month, but working 40 hours a week? Why is he so complacent? Again, it’s not you that needs to add more to their plate.

15.50 an hour for home health.

That’s still $2,480 before tax and I don’t think you guys pay 50% in taxes, so where is the rest of his money? That’s the first question I’d be asking him if you aren’t sure where every dollar is being spent.

Plus the city you live in is actually above the national average for home health aids in terms of income averaging $18.32 an hour. Don’t go light or easy on this man. Things aren’t adding up here and it’s not fair to you

2480 would be for an entire months pay. He only works 40 hours a week. His taxes are about 250 each check so technically $990 a paycheck and he gets paid biweekly. I have access to all paystubs & im the one who manages the bills in the bank account the money is deposited into.

That makes more sense. I’d still look up the stats though and have him apply for new jobs. He’s on the way low end of the spectrum for your area. Even if he adds a second job, but he needs to make an adjustment for sure