Feel like everything sucks tbh

Yeah, I’m one of those people who had a baby when they definitely couldn’t afford it. Fell victim to the ‘you’ll find the money’ crowd. Haven’t found the money. Can’t afford toys, can’t afford fun things to do - we get a lot of things as gifts from MIL which is lovely but boy do I feel like a sack of crap for it. I’m so deep in debt and just found out my landlord wants to raise my rent literally the month I go back to work - so I just won’t be able to pay it. Other things that suck: baby won’t eat anything I cook them, struggling to wean off boob, so tired I can barely function during the day, relationship with partner failing as I struggle to not be mum all the time. Honestly never want to have sex ever again. Maybe I’m just tired and it’s getting to me more recently but it’s just so hard to keep a positive outlook :(
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I love that you wrote this not enough wine a really speaking out about this and I’ve seen a few posts like this the past week and they are so well written and helpful. Thank you for taking the time to share. Feel free to pm me and if there anything I can do or lend an ear for I’m here x

Such a raw post. Thank you for sharing. I am not in the same boat but i really feel for you and understand this profoundly on how hard it can get once you have a baby and the reality of it and financial ability to ‘afford a baby’. May i ask where are you based? How old is your baby?

I can’t help you with debt or your rent. However I can assure you that your kids will not remember any toys they had/ didn’t have as a baby. I was actually quite a spoiled child, I had lots of things bought for me and lots of days out, and I can honestly say when I look back, one of my happiest memories was playing at my nans house in the summer. She didn’t buy us loads, but she spent so much time with us. She listened for hours to us sing and dance when we used to make “shows” and was most likely bored out of her mind, but she never showed it. She dragged us along the floor on her duvet. In the evenings she would play games with us. She would take us to the park and play in the river with us. All of those things were totally free, and I had the best time. I had so much more fun there than I did on expensive days out. My 5 year old told me last week that it was the best day of his life when I took him to the bloody dentist for his yearly checkup 🤣 kids are so easily pleased lol x

@Masha thank you - I’m based in the uk and my baby is 9 months!

I relate so much! We got pregnant fast and the first almost two years after baby was born, we struggled HARD. Literally took husband finding a different job for us to start being able to afford to go anywhere, eat fast food, not live penny to penny. It’s only been easier now for like four months and right before I wanted to go back to work, we decided to have another baby to add to the stress! It does eventually work out, even when it doesn’t feel like it in the moment ❤️

@Meaghan honestly youre right - some of my best memories are just being with my mum when we used to go food shopping. It was one of the only times it was just me and her and that was enough for me! Thank you :) your nan sounds like a wonderful lady ❤️

I’m very much one of these people that will criticise somebody who knowingly had a child without being able to afford it, but I really respect how you’ve written out this post. You’ve taken full responsibility for it, and you’re in employment so it’s not as if you’re not trying your best. Please give yourself some grace. I’m so sorry about the rent situation, I can’t say things will magically disappear overnight and become better but you sound like you have a great head on your shoulders. Your LO is very lucky to have you, I have a good feeling about your situation & I really hope you find your way out of the debt. And potentially somewhere more affordable to live where possible.

Me and hub have got good salaries and I've literally had to take a loan out to see us through the last few months of maternity, which I only took 9 months cos I couldn't afford a year. You're not alone, this country isn't geared up for families. Check local family groups, there are often ones that meet for free. My local council runs a lot of free things. Check mum's groups on FB for group mum outings to local parks or for walks. Join a local food bank to ease some financial pressure to help with bills. When you go back to work ask for a salary increase (you don't ask you don't get right?) See if you can lower other bills e.g . Internet package, phone bill, insurances Could MIL take baby for a night to give you and partner some time and give you a break? It takes a village 💖 you are being a wonder woman trying to shoulder this alone. Have you been doing baby led weaning where they eat what you eat? Helps save waste xx

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