Nursery from Sept

I’m going to view a nursery today and I’m super nervous. What questions should I ask? FTM

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From a group
- check ofsted reports do they have good or outstanding. Outstanding doesn’t necessarily mean they are the best just that they jump through all the hoops on the day
- do they have availability on the days/times you need will it logistically work
- do they accept Schemes that help with childcare fees like Tax Free Childcare (which saves you 20% off your fees if you are working parents) and the 3 year old funding (worth checking now as you dont want to have to move them later on)
-is it easy to get in touch with them and ask questions, does the manager sound helpful and organised
- do you need to put down a deposit and do they need any fees in advance

- are the rooms clean, there might be something messy going on at the time but is there dust/ leftover food on the floor
- are they bright and not too cluttered, you want it to have a homely feel so not too much stuff and lots of light and windows, neutral colours are less overstimulating.
- are the

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- are the toys appropriate and good quality not just plastic and look donated
- do they have appropriate sleep facilities legally they should only let your child sleep in a cot / travel cot or coach pram. They may also have coracles or sleep mats but these must be from an educational supplier not homemade. Are they expecting your child to sleep while others are playing or is there a separate sleep area
- will they supply nappies and wipes and ask to see their nappy change facilities, are they private but on hand and clean
- how will they store or make up bottles, will they allow you to use the formula you’ve chosen / bring expressed milk. How do they stop milks getting mixed up, is there a feeding chair where they will get fed just like at home.
- will they provide weaning meals, can they follow your weaning style (BLw or puree or both?) does the menu look balanced and nutritious, can they cater for allergies if they crop up, are the meals cooked onsite by a cook.

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-what spaces do the children have access too, is there a garden, art room, physical play space or are they in the same room all day. Is their structure to the day or is it a free for all. Is there evidence the children are getting lots of outside time even babies( look for muddy coats on their pegs or all in one splash suits and wellies).
- how do they track your childs development and plan activities, do they follow a specific theory or philosophy
-what are the staffs qualifications and experience, are they all first aid trained (legally only one needs to be but its common for all staff to be)
- do they use agency or bank staff and is the manager included in their adult:child ratios or not (you’d hope not so they are available for emergencies and show rounds)
- do the children look happy and engaged or are they wandering around uninterested / upset. Are the staff playing with the children and comforting those that need it.

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- do they allow you to bring in medication say if your child is on antibiotics or if they have a cold and need calpol, you dont want them sending them home for every cough and sniffle as they get everything that first 6 months.
- have they space to store a pram/car seat if someone else is picking up your child, how do they make sure strangers cant pick your child up, is the building secure
- is it easy/safe to park outside
- do they have a touch/cuddle policy (sad but some nurseries do and children can’t sit of staffs knees etc) can they have as many cuddles as they want?

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-If it’s not a free flow setting, how long do they get outdoors.
-menu/ do you need packed lunches/ do they allow juice or just water
-behaviour management policy is a big one for me. I don’t agree with time outs so that would put me off if they used that.
-typical daily routine
-prices.. do they charge for consumables if you’re accessing funding?

I also think that with SOME nurseries, they just tell parents what they want to hear. So I would be looking for myself. Do the children and staff look happy? Are staff engaged with children or are they just stood around? Are children all engaged or are lots walking around bored? Do staff greet you when you come into the room? Does it look clean (messy is obviously expected, but there’s a difference between messy and grubby)?


Don’t just go off their ofsted. Anyone can put on an act for ofsted. And go off your gut.

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+Are they flexible across changing the week days if you go on holiday?

+Do they cover half-term or not?

+What activities they do with the kids?

+Their meal times and plans

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Hi lovely!

I’m the manager of a nursery and understand this can be a daunting time - even more so now I’m a mum for the first time myself!

Firstly make sure you have the right feel - children are happy, staff seem happy & the person showing you round seems proud of what they’re showing you!

I personally have worked for both chains and independent nurseries and find smaller nurseries have a more personal connection with the children and really know there interests which is the best way for learning and development.

Key info I always give parents:
Ratio’s in each room
How many qualified working there
Meal/menu info
Online platform/communication w the day for parents
Fees
Settling in process
Any extra curricular activities/outings

You’ll know straight away after looking at a couple which nursery you think is right for your family and make sure you view a good few! 🥰

Any questions please give me a message xx

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I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

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AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

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Blw

Hi I am running out off ideas on what to make for Lil 14 month old for breakfast lunch and dinner if anyone have any resipes would be great to try my boy with them

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Should I respect his wishes??

I’ve been a SAHM for 4 years now and my husband does a great job providing for our family and we never need for anything. With that i still had to sacrifice some wants like shopping when I want getting my hair and nails done regularly so when I can I try to supplement for my wants and savings by selling my craft items at vendor markets and recently I’ve started donating plasma. Which has been consistent income for me. $125 twice a week. Well my husband has expressed that he doesn’t like me donating plasma. He feels like it’s not worth it to put my body through those conditions for $125. He even went out to sell one of his guns today and gave me all the money and told me “I shouldn’t have to donate plasma no more”. That was so sweet but I disagree. I planned on continuing to donate plasma to save for my kids birthdays thats coming up, a trip we have planned and our anniversary. I don’t know what to do. I finally found something that pays something consistently and my husband is against it. What should I do?

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Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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10

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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6

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