Am I being childish?

Please spare me of the sweet talk/advice and give ur honest opinion. I just made amends with my mother after not being on good terms for 3 years. Me n bd are planning ideas for my babies 1st year birthday at the end of the year. I kinda want my mom to come but I kinda just don’t want her and bds family to get close. Bc my mom can be toxic esp when she drinks and I love my bds mother she’s been so good to me and I don’t want my mom fxking it up and embarrassing me like she always has in the past with her nasty 2 year old temper tantrums and loudness and obnoxiousness. When she’s sweet she’s sweet but when she’s sour, oh boy….. I know my mom is going to ask to be friends on Facebook with my bds mom and try to get personal quick I just don’t want to see my bd mom hurt. She’s such a kind soul. And it doesn’t take much to piss my mother off she’s a ticking/easily trigger kind of person. idk what to do should I just celebrate separately or am I being childish? Should both families be aquainted if a child is involved or is that more for if we were married???

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Firstly you’re not being childish! From what you have said you have good reason to be cautious. I don’t know what I would do to be honest. Either talk to your BD mum and let her know the situation and how she’s feels about it since it’s her you are worried about being hurt. Or keep them seperate. I don’t know what I would choose

I was going to celebrate separately cause my mom the same way but I just talked her before hand and kept reminding her but I have 5 other sisters that’ll tell her about herself too so we did good with that but it’s so fucking draining when SHE SHOULD ALREADY KNOW NOT TO DO MUCH!! So just let your mom know and be real and just tell her if she gone do the extra stuff then yall can just have a separate one . Simple

You could always have the party, have it be a no alcohol function, and have a genuine convo with BDs mom about your mother before the event so she knows where you’re coming from and how you feel about it all in advance?

@Bex I agree with you that what I was going to say

Nah, you know your mom better than most. If you genuinely have a bad feeling about it listen to it. Your child is yours, not theirs so in my opinion that shouldn’t be a factor but I also understand why it is.

@Nana god yes it is draining af I feel like I wanna be relax and laid back enjoying my babies party not babysitting her every move making sure nobody piss her off to make her bug out 😩😒

Thank you ladies

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