Husband speaking to ‘family only’

I find that my husband and his family often move rooms if I am in one because they are discussing ‘family stuff’. When I talk about this with my husband he says it’s not personal, but it is a conversation for family only. He has also said this was an Asian thing, but as I am not Asian I am not too sure. I don’t think the conversations are about me as from what I have heard it sounds just like chit-chat. It just makes me feel strange, my husband says that I don’t have to be a part of everything and plays it off as me being nosy. It just makes me feel sad when it happens because I think it should be me that my husband comes to, instead he goes and speaks to his sister and mum in private? Is this common? Should I be feeling hurt?

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That’s extremely rude and not an Asian thing at all, and really weird for your husband to think it’s okay. What conversations does he need to be hiding from you? If it’s just general chit chat then that’s even weirder that you’re not allowed to be part of it

Im africain and my husband is asian , and they have similar thing too in his family except that they can still sit front of me and talk about “personal family stuff “ with their language that i don’t understand, at first (6 years ago) i used to be mad and offended but my husband started to translate to me front of them if they do speak with their language, and if they go to the other room ( most of times just guys) he will tell me about everything they said when we go home , and i do the same thing if my family around i try to translate everything to him, even we don’t go to the other room and leave him .

So are you not family when you married him? That’s really rude and disrespectful. Would he like being treated like an outsider that cant be trusted? It’s not an asian thing, it’s just lack of manners.

I agree it’s not very polite at all. The only thing I think Asian families would feel embarrassed discussing in front of a daughter in law is to do with maybe his sister having a boyfriend or his brother having a girl.. haram things that your MIL may be embarrassed about? Have a conversation with your husband to say you don’t think it’s normal and how you feel. Hopefully he will fill you in on these afterwards even if they move away to another room x

I think that's rude. What does he mean "family only" .. his mum was an outsider too. If she's family, then you are too babes.

It doesnt matter whether you yourself are asian or not, this happens, this is common with a few families. When its convenient for them they consider you to be "family" otherwise they don't

Fair enough they have family matters to discuss, but why can they not be discreet about it rather than make you feel a complete outsider? Obviously, your husband doesn't have to share everything about his family with you and vice versa due to confidentiality. But it shouldn't be happening so bluntly like this. Why do they regularly need to have "family talks". Fair enough if it happened once in a blue moon

Of course if the chit chat is about your marriage then this is wrong and you two should be handling any personal matters privately

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