Why am I like this

I'm so evil to my son. He's not even 3 wtf. I can't handle this age and my parenting is disgraceful. I'm fed up of hearing my own voice, shouting at him every day, compromising doesn't work anymore so I force whatever the task at hand is just so it gets done. I have no patience and my fuse is so short. As I write this post I'm raising my voice at said child and he's just outright ignoring the fuck out of me 😭 I try to read about gentle parenting because that is what I want to achieve. I want to have connection with my baby and for him to feel like I'm his safe place. At the moment, that is miles and miles away. If he's doing something he shouldn't, I try distracting a couple times first but then I say empty threats or screw my face up and like a dog about to gnarl. If I've really had enough I will grab his wrist or arm and pull him away from what wrong he's doing. Hold his face so he looks at me. 😔please don't hate me. I sure understand all of this is wrong and I'm deeply ashamed of myself. I don't have any family support as I don't speak or see them since before he was born as they were a big contribution to my mental health being as bad as it is. My partner's family speak very little English so I don't speak to them much. Its just me my partner and our toddler and baby. I'm sick of not being a nice mummy, I want to be gentle and certainly not physical. My stomach turns when I write this. I want to be better, please help me 😔. I'm writing this here because I have no one to vent it to, I'm at my lowest and want to give up walk away.
Share Mobile
  • Share

Show your support

Honey it sounds like you need some time out even if it was going for a walk once partner gets home. My little one behaviour is so much better outside. There little bodys have alot of emotions with at this age and its not easy time for anyone. The council run parenting classes about different approaches and will give you support. It's nothing to do with social services it's literally there to give you a little help and different approaches you can use.

The fact you recognise the problem and want to actively make steps to change is brilliant. Do you have any children’s centres around you? They’re an excellent resource. I’d speak to them, they offer free support and offer parenting classes and skills workshops on various topics for different age groups. If you seek support now it’s not too late to make changes. Good luck xx

Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not an easy job to manage these little ones. Take things slowly. Try to meet parents of your kids age group near by for a small play date at park or at some place. It will help.

Oh love, you are absolutely not evil!!! That is a complete lie and I really hope you see that you are simply a mother, trying to do her best! You have a baby too? I have my August 21 daughter and since had another baby in Dec 22. It is haaaard work! My 2.5yo is particularly challenging and there are times when I have felt like I can't do this. Just like you, I'd love to be able to do gentle parenting but it just does not work with my daughter. I will keep trying it when I have a good day full of patience but the majority of the time, I have to be firmer with her because she's either a danger to herself or to her brother. I've had PND which has made me want to walk away too but I'm now on medication and it has helped me hugely. It has helped me take a step back when difficult situations arise and I am able to stay calm much more often than I was able to before. I also had some psychotherapy which gave me good strategies to help in those intense moments too. Have you had any emotional support? X

Therapy can help, also speak to your partner, leave the kid with him and his family so you can have a recharge time. Good luck

Really positive that you are sharing this and seeking help. It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure and need support - feel free to reach out if you live nearby and would benefit from some support from me. If not, it sounds like there are some good tips in the comments above, and perhaps reaching out to a professional will significantly help. Wish you all the best for both you and your son ❤️

@Charly your babies are closer in age, I had my second in Jun 23. Thank you for your reply and understanding. My partner tries to support me when I have bad days but I don't think he truly gets it. He's quite private and I believe he doesn't believe in therapy as I brought it up before and it didn't go anywhere. I have made a close friend from Peanut and we have so much in common and share the same kind of mindset, she knows I can't handle my sh*t with my eldest and she can relate.. but she doesn't know the full story as in the physical struggle i mentioned in my post. I'm worried I'll scare her off, even though she's very understanding and non-judgemental. Other than that, I don't have any emotional support. I don't have proper contact with my family anymore, my mother I haven't spoken to for years. My grandmother came for a tea for the first time in 4 years, we are slowly building a bridge and I don't think any emotional support from them is an option. It's a long story, they were very toxic before xx

Read more on Peanut
Trending in our community