Shouting at your child

Hey girls. Just wanted to know peoples thoughts on this one. So on the whole I’m a gentle parent and tbh with you I do overthink discipline because I’m so wary of causing trauma, desperately trying to break the cycle !! I’m a single mum so tantrums aren’t easy as I don’t get to walk away and have a break, but today my mum shouted at my son and it really triggered me. He was having a mini tantrum and chucked his snack on the floor and my mum firmly shouted “NO don’t do that” and I said don’t shout at him. I rarely shout at him, I just tend to use a firm voice. Would anyone else be triggered by this or is it just me being over protective?

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@Ru don’t get me wrong, I do lose my shit from time to time it’s impossible not to 😭 I don’t think my mum meant any harm by it, she was probably just trying to help me cos I felt overwhelmed but shouting is not the way and she knows I don’t use that as a discipline technique so it really pissed me off. But typical me I’m now overthinking it

I totally understand this. I’ve never once shouted at my little girl. I’ve occasionally used a firm voice, but mostly I use humour and gentle boundaries to deflect and guide, and it’s working so far. I’m sure she’ll test my patience much more in the future 🤣 I experienced a lot of aggressive and shouting behaviour when I grew up and it definitely had an effect. So I 100% get wanting to break the cycle. It sounds like your mum was being reactive to the event but I would be triggered by shouting at my kid too. Hope you can chat about it and come to an understanding 🤞🏼

@Ruth so good to hear someone who understands!! When my sons having a meltdown I tend to use different techniques that don’t involve shouting as, same I grew up with a lot of it which made me fearful of people growing up, and as an adult I’m triggered by it and it makes me highly sensitive. Definitely my mum knows I don’t like her shouting at my LO, I think the disciplining should be left to mum/dad if either are present but that’s just my opinion x

Yeah definitely, it’s really context dependent. I grew up with a lot of toxic anger. Not being judgey of shouting in general and I’m sure I’ll end up yelling at some point 😫 but like you say, it’s good to choose other ways where possible x