Full time and financially stable, or part time and scraping?

Hiya, Basically we planned for me to work 2.5 days a week for a little bit of money and being a SAHM for the rest of the week, my husband would work 5 days a week. My head of department is leaving and I stand a good chance as an in-house hire. I’d work 5 days a week for substantial amount more workload but 3x our combined income and my husband could be a SAHD. I just really would love some advice or your personal experiences working full time. I don’t want to go for the FT job due to feeling like I’m going to miss out on everything in her formative years (she’s 3 months). I miss her already and I haven’t even got the job yet. But financially I feel like I have to, and she’ll still get to be with her dad every day. I don’t know. Just looking for your experiences to help me decide. Right now it just all feels completely crippling. I just can’t stop crying at the moment, I feel like not going for it is so selfish of me, I just thought I’d be going part time and spending my days with her as she grows up, then go back to full time when she’s bigger. Cons - miss out on most of my daughters pre-school days - miss her firsts (walking, words, etc) - huge amount of extra work - higher stress Pros - can provide more for her financially - can spend more money during the holidays on making memories Am I being dramatic because I’m only 14 weeks post partum? Or is this the reality of being a mum?
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If you don’t want to, then I’d say don’t. Especially if it becomes too much and you’re miserable, especially if there’s no chance of potentially going back to your prior workload. It’s hard, I know. Whatever you do, good luck.

Do you have to decide right now or do you have time ? I decided around 5 months pp that I wouldn’t be going back. I had a good job, very well paid, but I just absolutely loved maternity leave and being with my boy. I knew I wasn’t a mum that missed working, and I still stayed very social, we get out everyday for most of the day, I take him everywhere. And I just didn’t want to give up everything with him for working. I think money comes and goes, but your child will never be that age again, doing that thing again for the first time. But we’re not massively struggling on my partners wage. It pays the bills and has a bit extra for us to still live. We’re just not saving anything. But for me that’s something I was very happy to sacrifice. When he’s a bit older and in school I have plenty of time to earn money again. If you can I’d say wait a few more weeks and then decide x

Cons seem more than pros. From my personal experience, my parents chose to work a lot and provide for me financially. Result was that they now have to say how nice were the clothes i was wearing and the amount of toys they bought me. I dont remember any of that, I have to say that I dont remember them playing with me etc. I chose to quit and stay home with my kid and go back to work when she goes to school. If you can have time with your kid and work at the same time then go for it. Priority is the kid. Nowdays parents spend more time with their kids and are more attentive. So if you can find that balance is great. Always what works for you. Staying home is not always possible, especially with current living costs.

I feel all of these comments completely, like I don’t want to do it at all. But do you think, considering it’s choosing between me being SAHM or my husband being SAHD that I’m being selfish? If I don’t take it we both have to work, if I do take it only I have to and she still gets to have one of us at home all the time in both scenarios. I just always imagined it would be me spending every day with her and looking after her and we worked out a schedule for next year that would allow that… now with this new job (which I’m 90% sure I will get as an in house hire that knows the work well) it’s just all feels like it’s fallen through. But it doesn’t feel fair to my husband for me to say no I’m not going to, so we’ll both have to work. He keeps saying he’ll work as much as he needs to for us to be able to stay home together, and he means well but all I’m hearing is ‘I’d do what it takes why won’t you?’

I see..you seem from this comment that you lean on taking the job..maybe you should try getting it. Try and see how it goes and take it from there. You can always quit if it doesnt work out for you all.

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