Insensitive

Lol let's see how long that grin lasts... you'll be the one laughing don't worry!! 💓

Is this the first time you have done this?

I feel as if we’re missing context… was he serious about this or was this just arguments? I’m not excusing him saying he’s done with the marriage by any means, but were you both on the same page about you leaving?

My husband and I have had some arguments where I have threatened to leave. I’m not happy about them, but if I had started packing my things, he might have thought I was joking and not serious about anything. I wonder if that’s what’s happening here? It just seems like such a strange and cold reaction to you packing your bags.

Either way, it sounds like marriage counseling may be helpful to get you both on the same page, assuming you are both interested in moving forward with the marriage. If you both aren’t, I would say protect your mental health first and ensure you have a safe place to go before doing anything.

Have you packed and left now? Or are you still at your residence?

we tried marriage counseling but he never took it seriously. He switched up ever since I had my baby. We fight about how his parents don’t have access to the child and that it’s my fault. So I’m guessing they talked him into it but idk. There’s no need to be grinning or showing up as you don’t care.

Wallah I thought he wasn’t serious when he first brought it up a week ago but every day he goes and calls me pathetic for still being here and him not wanting to have anything to do w me. He even gave me a deadline. Told me had to be out before Saturday because he’s taking a trip w his family…

yes. I went out bought moving boxes and all of my stuff are in them.

InshAllah. Putting my trust in Allah. ❤️

So you have never done this before? Like telling him I am leaving you and then didn’t leave?

Then it sounds like he’s just being cold and cruel, if he’s given you a deadline and is berating you to leave, and then laughing at you while you pack. I’m so sorry, but this is a good thing to realize now early in the marriage. If there’s no compassion or empathy, that’s not a healthy marriage. Have you moved out now? I hope you’re somewhere safe, inshallah.

like in the past I would actually leave and get a hotel room for the night just so I can cool off but I would always come back the next day. But this time is different. He’s never been this hurtful before. You would think having his child and the stuff I had to go through to bring her here he’d be a little nicer.

@I’m planning on leaving tomorrow. Alhamdillah my mom lives close… just didn’t tell her about what I’m going through.

Yeah no he already you are gonna come back. Because you have done it too many times.

With all due respect, this isn’t helpful or kind. The sister is asking for advice about her marriage. I’m sure she understands that she is perpetuating this cycle by not following through, but your approach feels harsh. Cycles of emotional abuse, which this seems like, are incredibly difficult to break.

it’s not difficult to break. You just leave.

that doesn’t mean he can say hurtful things, laugh at her, give her a deadline to leave by etc.
maybe in the past if was different & it wasn’t like this but maybe now he’s completely cold & serious about her having to leave.
Regardless the sister is going through hardship all whilst caring for a baby, may Allah make it easy for her

Have you experienced domestic abuse? I hope you have not. My mother was a victim of domestic abuse and I witnessed it firsthand. It is not as simple as “just leaving.” I see you are young and newly married. You have so much to learn about the world. It is not easy, or as simple as you think it is. I pray for your growth and for your knowledge to increase on this matter.

To the sister who posted, I pray for your wellbeing. May Allah make it easy for you ❤️

Went through the same while 7weeks pregnant. He booked me a flight home and technically kicked me out. We are childhood sweethearts and been through ALOT to finally be together. Almost four months later, he still doesn’t want anything to do with the baby (he has a daughter that he is obsessed with but her mum won full custody of last December)
One day he texts to say: I would like to name him this name. Second day he would be like I never want to see him. Men are cruel. I pray Allah will get him soon for what he has done to me.

Please leave and don’t go back. The fact he “gave you a deadline” , please respect yourself enough to leave where you’re not wanted. He knows you will have your child too and is still so nonchalant about it is very weird. Don’t be taken for a mug. He doesn’t give a crap about you and seemily not about your child either. And honestly even if it’s “your fault” , clearly he’s done if he’s kicking you out. Absolutely disgraceful of a man to give his wife notice. The more MANLY thing to do would be for him to leave the home and stay somewhere else for a while and figure things out from a distance. Not displace his wife and child. Hope things get easier for you sis, I’m sure you will be happier without the stress of that type of man 🌸

that why you leave. You can’t control others.

why it isn’t as easy as just leaving? Is it because now nobody pays your bills and actually have to get a job?

You don’t know what I have been through or experienced. Asking me such a sensitive question in front of everyone is just wrong. Assuming that I don’t know anything is not a nice way to go about things. Isn’t that the exact reason why you told me that the OP knows that it’s perpetual cycle? And I am being harsh by pointing out the obvious?

Why are you telling me as if I don’t know anything? Is it because you can say what you want to say because you have seen it first hand or is it because you think you are older than me. I didn’t assume anything in this situation. I don’t know if you are older than me or not. I don’t need to look at peoples profile before I comment on their opinions since I don’t use ad hominem. Thank you.

I agree wholeheartedly with the part OP must leave.

You are being cruel and unhelpful to OP placing the blame on her. I am explaining to you that this is a form of domestic abuse, and that it’s more difficult than just leaving for psychological reasons. I’m not making assumptions about financial ones, as you are. Cycles of abuse exist for a reason, and they are incredibly difficult to break.

My question to you was rhetorical. I don’t need you to answer it, but I brought it up to see if you had knowledge about the psychological impacts of domestic abuse and why cycles of abuse exist. Pointing out the obvious is not helpful here, you can read the situation and see that.

The sister stated she is going to live with her mother before your comment. Let it go.

“Why it isn’t as easy as just leaving?” The below is just one of many articles on the topic.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/women-leave/

“We need to stop blaming survivors for staying and start supporting them to enable them to leave. By understanding the many barriers that stand in the way of a woman leaving an abusive relationship – be it psychological, emotional, financial or physical threats –  we can begin to support and empower women to make the best decision for them while holding abusers solely accountable for their behaviour. 

Here are just a few of the reasons that prevent a woman leaving:
1. Danger and fear
2. Isolation
3. Shame, embarrassment, or denial
4. Trauma and low confidence
5. Practical reasons”