Autistic son cusses, slaps, hits and tells us to shut up

Hi! My stepson has come to live with us for each summer now. He's level 2 autism and he speaks but not well, he's getting better. He doesn't listen. He constantly destroys things, watches destructive videos, cusses, hits people and kicks people. He's rude and tells us to shut up. We constantly tell him the rules and he breaks them again and again. He's hit me and slapped me, kicked me, scratched me. He got kicked out of school for chasing and choking children. He got kicked out of the community center for stealing stuff from kids. I don't know what to do. We're trying to get him.into aba theraoy but I'm up to my neck. I really for bad for him I want him to be able to function normally (as normally as he could) and not be confused and destructive all the time. I just want him to be able to hold a job and communicate! I'm not sure how to go about that when he never listens no matter what tactics we use with him. He's always bad, every hour he's doing something bad. I can't handle it when he steals stuff and I have to go Chase him up the stairs because it's a bottle of pills. I have to lock everything away and he still gets to it. I need physical therapy already from being pregnant and I'm so tired all the time. I'm not sure how this will be with a baby next summer. I'm really worried for his safety because he just wanders off and tries to run away a lot. I'm worried that as an adult he'll hurt someone not knowing that he is and get locked up. I'm just super worried about his future. He can't live day to day acting like this and have a healthy constructive life. He can't cope with anything but I know he has the potential. I'm just looking for advice please.

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How old is he? My almost 6 year old is autistic and on sever side but luckily hasn't learned to say to much more then calling everyone mean but he does slap and yells and throw tantrums I would try things like taking TV/phone away to stop the watching destructive videos and if he goes to hit grab hands and tell him he needs safe hands cause hitting hurts and just sit with him holding hands till calm and I have to take away any toys that are breakable cause my boy also destroys everything so have to do everything I can to prevent him being able to but he still rips books every time we are given any lucky to last a few days and u can always vent to me if u need someone to talk to cause my boy is also in a group for behavior that is begining to teach me to recognize why a behavior happens and learning how to prevent/lessen the bad behaviors and encourage the good ones

How old is he? ABA therapy is kind of controversial in the special needs community, but regardless, it sounds like he needs some type of behavior management therapy immediately. Is there a special needs camp or program where you can drop him off for at least part of the day during the summer? That would give you a break from supervising him 24/7. I personally wouldn’t allow him to watch those videos and would take away electronics if he becomes more destructive after watching things on them. Also, please take care of yourself. If he’s violent towards you, that could be putting your baby at risk. Hugs!

@Cassie he's 12 years old, I just learned about safe hands last night while scrolling everything! Can I ask how you implemented that and taught it to him? I'm not sure how to go about this I don't have experience with asd as I've only known him a month, but I'm like really trying my hardest to learn.

@Rebecca he's 12, his father is looking into options for treatments and therapys, also activities. I know aba is controversial but his dad said they've tried most therapies that weren't aba for years with no difference and I just want to see if maybe it will help? If it doesn't we won't continue it, but we're looking at one where his parents can also supervise and see what's happening in the theraoy rooms. We don't allow him to watch this TV, he just steals the remotes and phones and he gets on it, we took away his iPad and are only allowing him to watch good TV shows until he starts behaving better. I'm trying! Thank you so much for the concern! Just want to learn about it now before we have a baby in the house next year! That's really worrying me cause he shoves people when he wants to take things.

@Cassie can I ask what type of group your kid is in? And also how you got into it? That would be so helpful for him!!!

My boy goes to a group called behavioral health and autism so it focused one on one with kids with autism to help with any issues the mostly focusing on my boys speech right now cause he will be six soon and still only has speech of a 2-3 year old and most of that is extremely hard to understand and to do the safe hands it's all about consistency when he is having tantrums or hitting u simply kinda like time out just hold hands have him sit down and talk to him telling him he needs to use safe hands cause hitting hurts until he totally calms down and same when he is in destructive mood need to remove the temptation so take what he wants to destroy which even I'm having very hard time with but just found what he can't break and try to only give him those things so my boy lucky to love box cars which ha can't break so he mostly only has them

That’s understandable! I think if the place allows parents to observe, it’s definitely worth a try. I hope it helps his behavior. It sounds extremely difficult to deal with right now 😔