I need to vent

My partner was heading him from work he worked about 9-10 hours today so as he’s in route home I ask if he can stop and get me something to eat since I haven’t eaten today Context: we have a 3-month old who just got shots today and he’s been a little fussy so I got him to sleep and I didn’t want to wake him by putting him in a car seat and going to get food so I asked his dad to bring it. Dad said said he basically didn’t want to I said okay that’s fine see you when you get him. He gets home and speaks I speak back but don’t really say anything else (one because the babies sleeping, two because I’m filling out college applications and three because there was nothing more to say) he ends up changing to go to the gym then leaves and sends me a text that says “you gotta start helping yourself more” then proceeds to say “Every since u became a mother u start slacking on basic things u gotta get better “ so I responded “Wow! Okay thank you for telling me I’m failing as a woman pretty much. All I asked you to do was bring me food since you were already out heading home” he then calls me to try and explain what he meant (which didn’t make it any better) then gonna say you act like you can’t do anything not even take a shower without me being there blah blah blah and keeps going but I just ended the call like don’t worry about it I won’t ask you to do anything because I don’t see what the problem is me asking him to grab me some food he literally was in route to home and I wasn’t asking him to go out his way literally stop at a place that’s in route to the house Annoyed because wtf

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I completely understand your frustration. Especially since he couldn’t get you food but was able to leave the house to go to the gym. Some men don’t understand that being a stay at home parent doesn’t mean you have all the free time in the world. It’s a full time job in itself. I can relate to your frustration because I went through a similar situation just last week. They don’t realize that yes, although they go to work they still have the free time and luxury to do their hobbies (the gym) while as were the mothers, all of our time seems to be focused on the housework and kids. And don’t get me wrong, being a SAHM is a blessing but it still gets pretty tough sometimes. Needless to say, shame on him girl.

As we’re*

What in the fuck.. the least he could do is make a 3 minute stop to grab you some food. My man would neverrrr... he'd make jokes about not wanting to, but then he'd show up with food for me and the babies. And uhh.. yeah it's pretty hard to cook, clean, and shower on your own with a baby. I have twins and to this day (almost 14m old) i get 1-2 showers a week cause it's HARD to manage freaking everything in only 24 hours. Jeeze... he needs to grow an empathy bone.

Wow. No words. I couldn’t imagine. Maybe u should leave the baby with him for a day and see how he handles everything. He’d come crying to u within a few hours I can bet.

He can stop home then go to gym but can’t stop on the way home to get you food while you’re caring for his babies and his house And his life??? Yuck you have every right to be mad!! How dare him

You’re still freshly post baby and he’s ganna say you gotta take care of yourself better that’s full bs make him tend to baby all day on a day off and see how much time he gets to take care of himself. Lol

The insensitivity is astounding... ☹️

Was it bc you didn’t make dinner for him after working and asked him to stop to get you food but you think it’s bc you asked him to stop and get you food? Did you ask him if that’s what it really was about?

Omg!! What a tool Get him to look after baby for a whole day and see how much self care he can fit it SMH!!

This happened at 3pm so it had nothing to do with dinner I was asking him to bring me something for lunch @Bre

Thank you everyone - I shared how I felt with him not to long ago but I just needed to vent before I drove myself crazy

Remember, you are also still on high hormones. I am not excusing this conversation as I agree it is not ok, however, that being said, I am sure it bothered you more than it may have if you were not so close post partum. For even a normal conversation, it may be more emotional for you. I remember being upset but which church we went to for a Christmas Mass after my oldest was born (like was holding back tears the entire time) where normally it may have bothered me but not to the point of tears.

Not to mention he proceeded to go to the gym afterwards. He definitely could have gotten you something. I work 10 hour days while my bf stays home and anything he asks for he gets cause he is our childcare. Taking care of yourself imo is a team effort when you have a baby. He see’s you struggling with yourself and can only point it out to you and not help? That’s not a man, that’s a child.

I wouldn't do anything for that fool. He's ignorant af for that.

I agree, keep your head up, don't do anything extra for him besides praying the Lord opens his eyes to his new responsibility of being the head of the household, not the butt end. Also have him take care of his baby for a day. That's how mine got straightened out.