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Back to work woes

Tips for making the transition back to working full time as easy as can be emotionally? My maternity leave ends soon and I am really struggling with the thought of being away all day. Was off 12 weeks, and he's my first. Thanks!!
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Aww it was tough for me too, i was lucky my mom is taking care of mine so i call her often to ask how the baby is doing or i ask her to send me pics. It’ll get better once time goes by. Good luck

I went back to work for 3 days then quit lol. Try finding something on indeed.com for remote jobs

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Check out themomproject.com

I had lots of pics and videos that I watched of my baby all day! It also helps to be able to contact your child care provider for frequent updates. It’s hard but it does get easier. Good luck momma!

It gets easier! Watching videos and looking at photos helps and getting updates from your sitter or daycare.

Eek! Don’t remind me, I go back in 2 weeks from today and I’m completely dreading it. I love my work and was a workaholic prior to my babygirl, but there’s a new love in my life! Days with her are amazing and I don’t want to ever miss a second, but I know it’s inevitable.

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I am the same way! I loved working and did it way too much, I think I'm nervous how I will balance the two! Good luck to you as well!

Aw Mama, that was the hardest day of my life returning to work full time. Make sure whoever has your sweet one sends you lots of pictures and updates through the day. That helps sooo much. I'd like to tell you it gets easier but it's a really hard thing to do. I ended up Co-sleeping with my babe shortly after reutnring to work it was sweet snuggly time with her all night and we both slept better! Working full time is something to take pride in and you will be a wonderful example of strength and endurance to your child because full time work and mommy is hard.

Have you thought about working from home? I'm in your exact position, so decided to give this a go. I am truly loving it! https://mummiesonamission.com/become-an-ambassador/ambassador/AlanaFlook/ Have a look and please feel free to ask any questions!

I have to go back in two weeks and I’m also dreading it. I can’t afford to quit my job but I so so so so wish I could. Working from home? Is that real? Lol sounds like a fantasy

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Stephanie, I'd love info also if you don't mind 😊

Hey haley, i sent you a message, this totally exists! I'll show you the dream!

I have an amazing boss who let me return part time (as a manager this is huge) he is allowing me to work around my husband's schedule so that we don't have to hire a babysitter which we can't afford and I feel better having my hubby watch my son. If you have family that you trust that can watch your little one, it does help relive some stress about being away. It's hard d for the first week or two then gets better but will already be a little hard.

Yes take lots of pictures and videos of your little one. I had bad anxiety once I first started back. But think about how excited you’ll be to see your LO after you get off

Do they allow any gradual return? I’ve done it twice, and the hardest piece is juggling all the work into morning and evening. I’m sorry your struggling with it and I hope you find it easier and less painful than you fear.

I feel for you mumma's, I've totally been here with you x i hope you can find a way to emotionally cope xx I am now a SAHM who works online, around my 3 busy kids, it has been a blessing for us, sending my love to you all.

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What do you do online?

Hey Molly, i sent you a message hunny, so we could chat x

I go back in two weeks from today and dreading it also. I'm hoping after the first week it gets a bit easier. Good luck & I wish a smooth transition to everyone!

I found it hard the first time I went back to work with my first born, missed him so much. Always looked forward to finishing work and getting home. We had put him in a family daycare where he was getting a lot of attention and learning lots so that made me happy though. I have just had my 2nd baby and on mat leave now, this time I have planned ahead and recently started an online business, where I can work from home. This gives me the freedom to work around my family which I love.

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Hi Jessica do you mind sharing with me what business you started?

No worries hun, lets connect and I'm happy to share ☺️

Honestly it just sucks. But we do what we have to do for our babies. It does feel good to get out and see adults for a bit though! I have good days and bad days with it. You can do this mama!

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I went back to work 10 weeks after my little was born. I had her start daycare on Thursday and friday then i went back to work the next monday. I spent all day thursday going through her clothes and toys. Then I spent friday doing projects for my hubby and I. I was able to process being away from her without trying to also process everyone welcoming me and getting back into the work groove. I would recommend it to anyone!!!!

It was really really hard for me at first. My boss luckily allowed me to do half days the first week. That made it not so jarring. After that, a lot of support from friends and family. And some tissues! Don’t worry mama, it does get easier

I highly recommend the book The Fifth Trimester by Lauren Smith Brody. It was full of practical advice and assured me that I was not alone in my struggles. I will share that the first day back was not my hardest. It was the 2nd Monday. I was sobbing in my car at lunch with a pint of Ben & Jerry's. But I'm here to tell you, it passed. When I went back, I promised myself I'd give it 12 weeks. If I was still miserable at the end of 12 weeks, I'd quit and find some way to make it work. By 4 weeks in it was a lot easier, and by 12 weeks in I was so grateful to have my job. I've always found a sense of self and purpose in my work. While that is definitely secondary to my most important priority now, it's still a piece if who I am. More power to the SAHMs, but that ain't for me. Instead, LO goes to an awesome daycare that enriches and teaches her all day long, and then I've got extra Momma energy for her in the evenings and on weekends. So all that to say, have patience and grace with yourself. We're here for you!

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Needed this so bad! Thank you!

There will be tears and hard days, but this too shall pass. It’s just another change in a huge series of changes required to become your new mama self. You will be surprised at how strong you are! It’s hard to be away from them, but also can be very fruitful for your work. You tend to become a lot more focused so you can GTFO and be home with your wee one. Edit: oh, you asked for actual advice. 😂 What helped me the most was prepping the baby stuff the night before. Also, if pumping, not necessary to wash your pump parts after every session at work. Just keep them in a fridge between sessions. I also recommend making your baby a part of your morning routine rather than trying to have like “alone time” to get ready. I would always get frustrated at how long it took me to get myself together because the baby would inevitably interrupt, but just plan for it. Always dress yourself last because poop/puke. Don’t forget the coffee! Congrats, and good luck! :)

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Great advice to get dressed last!!

Going back to work was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do after my unpaid maternity leave was over. I found myself crying most mornings when leaving my babe. Pumping was so hard and my supply took a hit. I had to go back to changing work locations with a 1.5 hour commute and working 10 hour days. It was miserable. I moved and my commute is 30 mins. It’s been 3 months and I still hate leaving my baby. Hopefully it’s an easier transition for you. My advice would be to get your support system ready. Talk to your manager about possibly transitioning back to work slowly. Get a good breast pump and practice using it if you are planning on pumping. I got these cute reusable wet bags online. Also, I started listening to this special meditation to increase letdowns. It’s our right ladies to be able to pump for our babes for their first year. Most importantly, take care of yourself mentally. Good luck mama!!

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Thanks so much ❤️

You can ask HR is slow transition is allowed. I returned after 28 weeks and my company had a slow transition program.

I recently went back to work and my son is 4 months today. It is very hard and I have been late everyday so far. Trying to figure out the best morning routine that works for me and the baby.

Super hard for me too! I just make my stay at home hubby send me pictures all day haha

I sobbed the second my husband backed out of the driveway Haha. But I worked out an arrangement with the sitter to get pictures etc. If you are going the daycare route, which we eventually switched too, I asked them if it was ok that I call sometimes to check on him. Greyson was our first too...hugs momma it does get easier ❤

With my first I cried the first week. I begged my husband to let me quit. He was okay with it too. I gave it another day and each days it’d gotten better. This time around with my second (currently 8 out of 11 weeks down on maternity leave) and dreading going back. I plan to go back half days first week. I will tell myself to take it one day at a time. I have always been pumping for her so I’m gonna keep pumping at work I think it will help me feel connected to the her while I’m away. I also plan to come home at lunch when I can. Good luck to us!

Whoa.. I am going back to work in a month roughly and I'm already having a hard time ! My baby will be 15 months! How do you all handle going back to work with your babies still.babies ?!

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Yeah ! Luckily my son Is in school this year so I only pay for one in daycare. But that's crazy! Is the states different for mat leave ? I'm in Canada and we have the option for 18 months paid mat leave

I really couldn't this third time around, so i didn't lol i actually took on an opportunity to work from home because of how much i hated it the first time. My kids were 18 months and 4 month when i returned and it killed me. This time im working from home, totally bliss 😊 plus child care was costing too much!

I am a grandma with shared custody so my perspective is a bit different. I’m not seeing as much of my granddaughter at I was and I am missing her like CrAzY but as a parent who has weathered this storm the one thing I want to reassure all of you, your emotions and “guilt” if you have it, which I pray you do not, are valid and real so don’t ever let yourself feel silly about it. This child grew IN you, or if adopted, grew WITH you while waiting to be born...you spent 9 months focusing ONLY on this baby and now the world wants you to just leave it and focus on ANYTHING ELSE? Really?? However, here’s the blessing about kids and parenting...children have NO IDEA there’s any other options that whatever you are doing...so if this is gonna be your life, embrace it with gusto! Also embrace whomever your child’s care giver is as well...If they feel loved they will be sure your child feels loved as well.!!

I am a stay at home full time mom but my fiance already feeling this. He is our only source of income because I am disabled and cant work. Unfortunately they dont allow dads as much time as moms sadly. My finance has to go back soon and he dont wanna leave our week old son. It not a option for him to stay home or i would just say stay home.we wouldn't be able to make end meet. Any tips or help him get though his day would be greatful.this is his first live child we had 2 mc with him b4 our miracle.

Read the book “The Fifth Trimester” by Lauren Smith Brody. It’s a must for new moms headed back to work.

My son is 3 and I’ve been out of work for 4 months due to complications with the job I’m starting in August. I got so used to being home with my son that I’m dreading going back. I had gotten a new job in June and I quit the same day, I couldn’t handle being away from him and I also had a personal issue going on that same day so I lost it. I’ll be working at my sons day care so I’m hoping that puts me at ease that he will be right next door if I want to check on him. But I’m wondering why it’s so hard for me to go back now meanwhile when he was born I stayed home for a year and half and I was fine when I got a 8-9 hour part time job. Could be really bad anxiety or I got so comfortable being home again I’m afraid to work now. Everyday is a battle for me thinking that my time is ending staying home with him. Such a hard adjustment. And I’m going through a break up with his father so I have no support system anymore to help me get through my hard days now and when I start work.

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I'm heading back after 12 weeks the week after next. In preparation I read Work. Pump. Repeat. by Jessica Shortall and it was excellent - highly recommend for any Mums planning on breastfeeding while heading back to work. A very practical set of advice.

He has the cutest eyes

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Thank you!

Honestly it was the best thing going back to work. It made me more productive with my time, I appreciated the time with baby way more and had a lot more patience, and knowing how much she was benefiting from day care made it a lot easier than I anticipated. Not saying some days I am sad and just want to snuggle her all day but it really was a lot easier than I thought. Plus it feels good contributing to life more than just a mom. Even though being mom is best job I never knew I wanted...I am more than JUST a mom. Going to work and talking to adults and making money was needed as well. Good luck girl! You got this!

I go back Monday and I’m feeling all the feels. My mom will be taking care of her but I still wish I could be at home with her.

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How was it Lexi?! Sending positive vibes and hope you’re all adjusting well xxx

Good luck mama!

My LO is 6 weeks old and I'm currently on maternity leave looking for an at home job. I found one that is real and I'm loving it! Two weeks in and being able to stay home full time is becoming a reality! I'd love to share with you what I do!

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Wat do u do

What is it you do?

how do you work when all the years i have been a stay at home mom and my husband works 2nd shift

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I do the time in the moments that work around my baby. Nap times, evening, weekends when his father has him (I'm a single mum), on the commute. It's hard and a constant juggling act but somehow I can make it work without many balls dropping (don't get me wrong, sometimes they totally do!).

I didn't have maternity leave and had to go back after 2 weeks. What got me through was her pictures

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Wow Tory! 2 weeks! I would barely manage to walk after my first bubby!

Oh man I couldn't imagine.

Are you sure you have to go back to work? Are there luxuries you and your family can live without so that you can be with your bub until a year or more? If there’s a will, there’s a way. Don’t deny your biological instinct to be with your baby.

I just started back Monday after almost 4 months with my baby(1st baby) I got lucky and his grandma is watching him so we would have her watch him/have him over nights a few times just so I got used to not being with him all day. It wasn’t easy but easier than if I never let anyone else watch him. You’ll do great momma.

I am in the same position I actually have been off since March and my twins got here early in may ..struggle is real

Just wanted to say what a cute bub you have and you will be ok so will he remember quality ove quantity

I feel for all you ladies having to go back to work and not being able to home with your baby and instill all the values and things that you want to in them. My heart breaks for you all. I feel blessed enough to have had the opportunity to pursue relationships with people way before even thinking of having a baby and now be in a position where we have built an income outside of my regular job and I'll no longer have to return. And i cannot wait to have my husband join me in a couple years also! There's lots of options out there nowadays ladies that returning to work doesn't have to be one of them. Open to chatting more to see of you would be a good fit for what we are doing.

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I’d be interested to hear how you established income to avoid having to go back to work :)

I think as a parent, our input is far more powerful than that of other adults when it comes to instilling values and integrity. The aim is to instill the values in your children so much so that even outside of the family home, those values are in the heart of who they are around others. Kind of upsetting to think that people think being a working parent means you cant instill values in your children. :( I believe very much that my little boy will hold the values and morality that I work so hard to teach him x

Omgeee I am going back to work as.well in about 2 weeks .. my baby will be 3 months and two weeks and I am so emotional ..she is my fourth and last and I feel like I'm cheating her.

I was in the same boat my baby wS 3 months..only thing that kept me ok was that she was with my sister..i changed my schedule to be able.to be with my kids.more im still adjusting..at times.i feel guilty and just am so emotional but im trying to take it day by day...you will be ok who is watching baby for you?

Same for me in a few weeks and I can't imagine leaving him and my heart breaks when I think about it. Idk how I'm going to do it! You're not alone though!

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Hey girl I just went back to work on Monday after being off since my son was born in February. I was laid off while on leave (totally kosher lay off- the company I worked for was acquired and my position was eliminated). Message me any time.

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Hi Helen - I am pretty sure there’s a law in Massachusetts (night be federal) that you have to be guaranteed your job back after leave or a position that pays the same. I would look into it.

I couldn’t do it. I stayed home. I am the mother of 3 grown men (one is special needs). I stayed home . Gave up new clothes, nails, going out, etc...it was hard! But not harder than being away. If you are being tugged and don’t want to leave them, don’t. I have a biz now that I wish I heard of back then. Just know there are other options. I can share more if you want.

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Please share!

I will later...running out the door..Meeting with my accountant, ugh.

I really sympathise as I felt the same - I only got paid for that amount of mat leave, too...nowhere near enough time with a newborn! I now run my own online business from home around my now 2 toddlers. Working AND balancing babies (and everything else!) just didn’t work for me. I’m passionate about helping mummies achieve the same. It’s not for everyone but it is for those who love people, helping others and want to live a bigger life! It’s changed mine, and me for the better! I’d be happy to talk to you to see if I can help you have another option ❤️ xx

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That is wonderful, Kylie! Kudos to you! What is it that you do?

FaceTime is a huge help and lots of pictures and videos throughout the day. I also make sure to make the weekends about her- it’s certainly not easy. I also find it helpful to have some positive mantras

You poor thing... i feel your pain... its hard that first day you leave him/her and every day is hard 😧😧 but you will feel so proud of yourself when you've done it... and the best feeling in the world is when you return home from work and see a smiling face excited to see you or a tiny head looking out the window at you pulling up in the car... it makes it so worth it i promise... xxxx

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