Wwyd, child care!

Jakob goes to a childminders twice a week with his free disability hours. I'm a sahm and use the time to clean/do life admin/rest. He's been offered a place at a wonderful pre school that's term time only. I'm wanting to keep him a day at the childminders though because it's lovely and year round, longer days. so it would be 3 days a week in childcare. I feel so much mum guilt about this like a failure of a sahm.but he loves it there and it's so good for his development. My husband works shifts/long days/6 days a week so I'm still on my own with them both absolutely loads. Am I an awful mum for considering this? It would also give me chance to actually look for a job! (I've got training in 2 weeks to be a pirate worker)

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Portage, not pirate, pirate would be cool though 😂

You’re not an awful mum in the slightest! They get SO much from nurseries/childminders and aids their development so much to be apart from their primary carers. Also if it gives you that chance that you wouldn’t have before to look for a job and do something for you, definitely do it x

@Katie he went for some settling in days at the pre school and there was so much for him to do, he loved it! Plus he'd get a 1:1 so he'd be getting all the attention!

Each to their own, my eldest went to nursery from 2, my second from 9 months and I intend keeping Elaine at home until January when she will be 3 and can start school nursery 3 days... my circumstances with each has been different and although I felt guilty with my son at 9 months he absolutely loved it and thrived. I don't think there's a need to feel guilty when you're running the house single handed either x

@Alice I think that's another reason I feel guilty, my eldest stayed home till 4, but back then I had a village, wasn't in my 40s and he wasn't as disabled as my littlest is.

Definitely don’t feel guilty! Our daughter is in nursery 2 days and if we could afford to send her 3 I would, when she gets her 30 hours we are going to increase her days. She gets so so much from it, she loves her friends, the staff and the days she’s there she gets to do so much more than the day I have her at home 😂 absolutely do not feel bad if he loves it!

@Beth O’Connor do you work? I feel like cos I don't work ATM I don't deserve it

@Mel s I do yeah, 4 days but full time hours condensed but I would still send her even if I didn’t, it’s just I have to work to be able to send her. But it’s not just about you getting a break it’s about what they will get out of nursery and a social environment, it helps them massively in their development!

@Beth O’Connor this is true, and him going means every day I do have with him I have the energy to do fun things and don't have to worry about housework etc. cos I do my deep cleans when he's there and just sod it the rest of the time 😂 I think I am going to keep him on 2 days though and just move him to the pre school because there's much more for him to do than at the childminders and he can have his OT, SALT and PT there which he can't at the childminders

@Mel s I’m the same, I have Thursdays with my daughter but I’ve constantly got housework or the food shop or stuff to do, so in January when I can send her 3 days I’m going to keep the Thursday off then I can do all that sort of stuff without her around and don’t have to think about it when I do have time with her

Same, my oldest loves her school and we signed her up for extended day that is offered for free this year. My youngest we started for a few hours. I feel like I failed to stay home properly, but with my youngest I knew so much about their development it was unfair to her to try to work and care for her at the same time. I am working out a new routine to make sure our evenings count - my oldest mostly needs no pressure to participate but being welcomed in whatever I am doing with the youngest.

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