Feeling lonely and undervalued
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@JL that is what I have been trying to express that I feel alone and I don’t have the time or energy to do everything. Basically he rolls his eyes and will end the conversation or he’ll try flattery an just tell me how pretty I am in hopes that will make me less upset about it for the time being.
Stop doing the housework and the home repair projects. He needs to start pulling his weight.
Tell him explicitly that you need him more than ever now that you are working 2 jobs and going to school. Have that conversation to tell him how what he says hurt you and its not supportive.
@Anke I’ve tried and he will just let everything pile up and I can only deal with mess for so long :(
@BunnySalsa I will try that. What should I do if I get the same reactions ?
He can only get away with that if you let him. I would insist on counseling then because I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who won't communicate, refuses to improve, and makes me feel less than respected and valued. I think pregnancy and parenthood makes most people reflect on their relationships. It's good to look at things through the lens of how would I want my child to be treated in a relationship? What do I want the relationships they model their own relationships to be like? I think most parents want those examples to be so good, they know immediately if they're not being treated how they should in the future. If this relationship is not that, I'd work on fixing it to get it there and if that's impossible, I'd work on getting out because seeing their mom being treated right is so important for kids' own self worth and future relationships.
@JL I think you’re absolutely right Thank you
Nope you are not being over sensitive. I was a stay at home wife with my first and my husband was still very patient with me when I was pregnant especially when it came to house work. I literally went to get diapers and felt it was expensive and was super upset about it. He was just giving me lots of extra love and telling Me that I shouldn’t worry about it and made sure to do something to help cheer me up. We are in a very vulnerable position and he should be supportive of that. You are using all of your bodies energy with work school and growing a baby he should at least help around in a shared living space
You're not being oversensitive. I would talk to him. A partner shouldn't invalidate your feelings like that. Why is so much falling on you too?