Mum guilt - toddler and baby

I have a 3 month old baby and a toddler who is nearly 3. I felt like I coped really well with the newborn phase this time and managed to balance my time between my children by getting my toddler to help me change and dress the baby etc, and getting him to bring toys and games to me that we could play while I was breastfeeding baby. Now I feel like I’ve hit a wall! The weather is nicer now so toddler wants to play in the garden, which I’m finding tricky because of having to keep baby in the shade, and he doesn’t seem to like it outside. My baby is also going through a phase of not wanting to be put down for long but also fidgets when being held. I did have him in the carrier when he was a newborn but I’ve pulled my back so can’t do that at the moment. Because of my back I also can’t play on the floor for long because when baby needs a feed I have to sit on the sofa. I feel so guilty as my toddler is watching so much tv and sometimes he looks so bored! He has learned a lot from the educational videos though. I don’t drive so we are limited as to what we can do in the week (we do go out as a family at the weekend and toddler has swimming lessons). There is a playgroup just started up the road from me so I will try to go to that, and we do have play dates but I feel like I’m not doing enough. He will be going to nursery part time in September. Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with baby and toddler?

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Is there a spot in your house for a play sink? Or you can set up a sensory bin table with water in half. Put towels on the floor around it so it's not a huge mess. Your toddler may be able to think of lots of games to play with it. Make sure they have figurines of their favorite characters and encourage them to have a pool party or do a water rescue mission. Monster trucks love a good truck wash too! Reading aloud is great. Your baby can sit in your lap or in the bassinet while your toddler looks at the pictures or runs around the room. They will enjoy hearing your voice, and you can talk about the stories. Extra long bath times can be great too, especially after playing in the garden. You can bf, and your toddler can have a bubble bath! If you pulled your back, you should have an extended reach tool for grabbing. Show your toddler how to use it and ask them to bring you stuff from around the room. Mine called it the robot arm. You are definitely doing enough. It is ok for kids to be bored sometimes. 🙂

I often set my two older toddlers up in a situation that nothing I don’t approve of can happen like coloring on walls or slipping on water or falling and getting hurt for example. I use sensory bins, coloring, chalk, bubbles. I’ve also set up all their toys so that the sets say together so they focus on them better, it allows for more time spent for 1 toy. I’m Lucky enough to have an inclosed portch that does help. I’d recommend rigging a blanket over a play pen type situation to keep the baby in the shade when outside, or buying a tent or playpen with a cover.

Wow i also have a toddler nearly 3 and a baby 3 months old! Im going through the same struggle trying to find ways to entertain my toddler because I feel she gets very bored or watches too much tv! One question is she still throwing alot of tantrums ?

Thanks for the advice! I do have a play tray and often do a quick set up of sensory play or sand etc but he hasn’t been as interested lately. Yesterday we got out the paints to make a Father’s Day card and then let him paint a cardboard box but after 15 minutes he said he wanted to watch tv instead, which was just as well as baby started screaming by that point. I accept their attention span isn’t that great at this age but it would be nice if he spent a little longer on the activities 😆

Yes he does still have tantrums, mainly when we go out which is another reason I don’t like to take them out on my own, he’s also a runner 😕

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