Hormones or do I want to leave my partner?

I’m 36 weeks pregnant with my second. I feel like I’ve faced most this pregnancy on my own due to my OH working away and going to a football tournament abroad etc. I feel really guilty but I’ve hated this pregnancy.. I had two miscarriages last year and was desperate for another baby and feel bad that I’m wishing this time away when I should feel so much more grateful. But I can’t handle the emotional rollercoaster. I honestly feel like I hate my fiancé. To be honest, he hasn’t been overly great at helping me out with our little girl and I’ve had little to no rest.. I’m still working but still do everything on my own, food shop, mow the lawn, put our daughter to bed, feed everyone. I don’t feel like I’ve been looked after much. I’ve made it clear I’ve struggled this time round. I’m still teaching dance but my legs are in so much pain from varicose veins and all I needed was for him to come home from work and let me have 5 minutes before he did stuff for himself. I’ve had an absolute breakdown this evening in which I’ve told him I don’t want to be with him anymore - this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve said it when feeling overwhelmed - but part of me thinks that I actually mean it this time. I love him but do I really mean this or is it just my hormones and general hate for my current pregnancy state? Help a mama out…