Non existent father

I feel like I've really reached my limit now with my partner and I don't know what to do. He wasn't happy when I told him I was pregnant (I was 39 he was 40 and has 2 girls 11yrs old and 18yrs old from previous relationships) he's made constant remarks that I've ruined his life and so has LG. He doesn't interact with her at all, she's 15months old and he's fed her and changed her nappy maybe 10 times. No night feeds or changes. She's walking and trying to talk and engage now and he doesn't interact with her at all. Tonight I was overstimulated, busy day at work, picked LG up from nursery and she was hyper but over tired and all I heard was, No, Stop, Right. I've explained to him recently babies don't understand the word No until they're at least 3 years old and can put it into context for their actions, and he just sits on his phone or his game barking No and stop at her. She walks over to him with a toy or a book and he doesn't even look at her just takes it off her and throws it back down on the floor. But then he complains we never have any time together and he feels underappreciated and I'm like well yeah, me too! I'd love to come home from work and relax and watch a movie or have a shower or bath that lasts longer than 5 minutes but I don't have that luxury. Soon as I get home I'm playing and colouring, bath time, book time, bed time etc. And then I have to try and get her to sleep and keep her asleep. I have absolutely no time for myself unless my Mum looks after her, even if I need a wee and ask him to watch her he acts like I've taken a day of his life. And sometimes when she's cranky and screaming I've seen him glare at her like he hates her 😭 yet he treats his other 2 daughters like they're princesses that can do no wrong. I'm on the verge of telling him to just fuck off if he's so miserable with me and her because it seems that way

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You need to leave his ass. That’s unhealthy for you and the baby. You’re basically a single mom in a relationship from the sounds of it already. You and your baby can figure it out.

Agree with the other comment and if not for yourself then definitely for your child. My ex partner and father of my son was the exact same way with our little one. I split because not only is he being a bad partner, he’s a bad parent and by staying together you’re showing your child what a bad and unhealthy relationship is and it says that example and simultaneously making it her problem by staying with him. I know it seems scary and like you potentially be doing more by yourself, but that’s not the case. I feel more in control and a lot less stressed since breaking up from him because I knew what my responsibilities were and where the lines were without the added stress of trying to look after a grown man as well.

I don’t mean to sound rude but how are you surprised by all of his behaviour ? He’s literally told you that you and your daughter have ruined his life. That’s such a disgustingly vile thing to say about your own child I don’t even know how you still stand to be around him at all. I can’t imagine how your daughter is going to feel growing up around a ‘dad’ that clearly has so much contempt for her and is happy to show her that. And to see him treat his other two completely different. It’s going to completely ruin her self worth and love. Believe me, am absent father would be so much healthier for her than the one he is right now

This breaks my heart to read, your daughter deserves more than this. It’s very unhealthy and the best thing to do is leave if he’s not stepping up

What a bellend! He doesn't deserve u or your daughter. Hate hearing these stories where men can not be bothered with their own kids. It makes my blood boil!!

This could have been me writing this, my partner is exactly the same. So sorry you're going through this. You deserve better. Don't get why men are such dickheads and think it's okay to treat us women like their skivvy and don't appreciate us at all and show us love. If you ever want to talk you can message me anytime x

I’m sad for you. But I’m so sad for your daughter. That all sounds heartbreaking. I would do yourselves a favor and leave, like others said you’re already doing it on your own. It will be stressful at first but in the end you won’t have to worry about his absence. You’ll just know he’s already gone and won’t feel the pain and frustration that you used to.

I can't leave, it's my house 🤣 but I agree with all the comments. My own father walked out on my mum when she was 3 months pregnant with me, I met him briefly when I was 11 but I quickly put a stop to that because I realised how toxic he was. I'm still thinking things over, I've tried to explain my feelings to him but I just get attitude like 'so you're saying I'm a shit dad' .... well yeah! If he does ever engage with her it's when he's pissed and she's tired and I'm trying to calm her down ready for bed, and i really don't like him holding her when he's pissed 🤬

Can you ask him to leave? I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but it all just sounds really toxic for your daughter. I’m not even sure how long you guys have been together but from the way he acts I can’t imagine it’s going to get any better for you.

Serve him with papers!! It's your house, so kick him out!! You are capable of taking care of yourself and your daughter. Take some time to heal and be a HAPPY mom. Then, find a man who loves you AND your daughter. You deserve that.

See that’s the point. If you don’t trust him holding his own daughter when he’s angry, then why do you trust being in the same household as him? There isn’t really anything to think over imo

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