At my wits end

So I thought couldn't have kids so we got animals. Have 3 dogs and 2 cats, then found out I was pregnant Fast forward my lb is now nearly 2. 1 dog is 13 and the cats are 12 the other 2 dogs are 3 and 4. My lb will not stop chasing them, grabbing them, pulling legs and tails. Lb has been headbutted twice now by the 2 younger ones, but the youngest is making a lot of noise and getting defensive now when he touches her even if it's gently. I'm trying to tell him off, warn him that if he continues he goes to the naughty step for 2 mins. The other half however wants the dogs to go outside every time he gets grabby. Don't get me wrong his grabbing the multiple times a day and only had the dogs react a handful of times but with the youngest one it is very loud and sounds awful but to me they are telling him to back away and his not getting the message. Surely by just removing the dogs all the time it's avoiding the issue not teaching him that it's wrong. Am I in the wrong?? The dogs do not approach him or show any aggressive behaviour apart from when he is trying to ride them like a damn pony and pinching them.

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Just to add they are 2 frenchies and a chug.

Having dogs and young children together is tough I absolutely feel you. Young children should be taught boundaries and I agree with you, the solution isn’t to remove the dogs from the situation permanently but if it gives you a moment of breathing space separation is key! Baby gates keep me sane! It’s tough out here but you’ve got this 👏 xx

See that's what I do. Lb gets told no that's what we do gentle only. If it continues I repeat, then third he gets a 123 countdown and I remove him behind a baby gate on his naughty spot for 2 mins. Then he can come back but again I tell him we don't hurt animals and only gentle. If he does it again I repeat all that again. But 3rd time I remove the dogs. Or if the dogs over react I put them straight away out the way either in the kitchen or outside where he can't get to them or vice versa. Oh is telling me I'm stupid and it's all just the one dogs fault but because she has the loudest reaction lb thinks that's the best game. I have never rehomed an anim

Don’t let him do it. Number one rule of behaviour - if they can’t practice it they won’t do it. Your LB is just going through a phase so if he can’t practice it he will grow out of it and it won’t be a thing. You are risking him being bitten if the dogs are vocalising that they aren’t happy because vocalisation and growing are the last step on the aggression ladder before biting so listen to them. The animals are saying they aren’t happy, don’t let him grab them. Your partner is right, the dogs reacting will be making it more interesting for your little one, he will see it as a game and he is also at an age where he pushes boundaries, has big emotions and can’t control them. Kids can learn how to be around pets without being allowed to grab at them. There is a lot to be said about being neutral around animals and ignoring them till they can control themselves a little more - which at the age of 2 is asking way too much.Keep them physically separate till LB is over the grabbing stage

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Imo there’s a time & a place for gentle parenting but this is not the place. The animals need priority & they need to have their boundaries met & to feel safe. I’m raising a 2 year old with 14 dogs & 2 cats & if she oversteps the mark with them then she gets very firmly told no & immediately picked up & moved away from them & then we redirect to singing a song about being gentle with our pets (ms Rachel teaches it on YouTube). Baby gates are essential & time out zones for the animals to go to feel safe where she isn’t allowed to touch them are also required, but being super firm with no from the get go so it can’t be considered a ‘game’ is what has worked for me. Then give the dogs an area in the house to go to & give them something they can chew on to decompress like a cows ear etc so they can have space but not feel like they’re being punished. Respecting their space is priority, if they can’t trust you will respect their space on behalf of your lb then they’ll bite to communicate.

Your not in the wrong at all you need to keep teaching your little one you can’t pull of ears,legs and tails and not to pinch them my little girl gets like this sometimes with my two dogs my youngest is 19 months old my little girl seems to only pull her hair or ears legs and tail but we told her off every time and moved her way from my youngest dog and she now knows not to do it she’s 15 months old sometimes when she gets to exited she goes back to doing what she’s not meant to but we then tell her off and she goes back to being gentle. I have two dogs and two cats she does the same with the cats to but they try and stay out of her way x

Hey dont react when your lb is grabbing there tails just remove him from the situation try not to shout no around the dogs cos its impacts a negative on the dogs probs why the dogs kind of making a noise to be like back off my lb used to grab my dogs tail never said anything to him just removed him out the site of the dogs the more times i was telling me lb no no stop stop he thought it was a game and kept doing it now i dont say nothing and remove him from the dogs and the situation and now hes stopped doing this now we all live in harmony qnd my dogs are the size of miniature ponies lol hope this helps x

Also removing the dogs doesnt help the situation creates a negative on tbe dogs so they will end up picking up bad habits try and not say nothing just remove your lb from the situation and into other room playing with something keep at it its literally like training a puppy not going to lie haha but it will work i promise he get bored that mummy is not reacting to me doing this to the dogs trust me lol