Child free wedding

If you can find childcare for your toddler could you ask to bring your baby? Lots of people I’ve known have had child free weddings but that didn’t apply to ‘babes in arms’, as it’s understandable that people can’t always/usually leave small babies with childcare. Either way, I’d just have an honest chat with your friend and hopefully you can work it out x

I’d definitely ask if you can bring the baby, if you don’t ask you won’t know. If they say no you will just have to explain the situation if you 100% won’t be able to leave baby, things could change by then I’m assuming baby will be 10 months old at the time of the wedding? But obviously they will need to know in advance if you are going or not x

When is the wedding? Can you stay at the hotel? Get your husband to stay as well with the kids and make a day of it and you can pop up to feed and then just go up and slip into bed and join them after the party? Its not ideal but sounds like the best bet- for a child free wedding I would understand a tiny baby but those without children are unlikely to understand why you cant leave an older baby especially one who they would see in a high chair eating food (thats not my opinion thats based on former brides and grooms I know who dont ‘get it’ until they have their own baby)

So the issue with taking bubba would be I wouldn’t have anyone to look after him whilst I’m getting ready and during the service We really have zero childcare options I looked at staying at the hotel but unfortunately there is no accommodation at the wedding suitable and the nearest family air b and b is miles away

@Danielle Why do people have weddings like this that are so unaccommodating?? Can you ask the bride what everyone else is doing!? Surely there are nieces and nephews etc that are having to be left or where are they staying etc. So bizarre!

I’d ask if you can bring the baby as you’re breastfeeding. I’ve been to weddings which were child free but babes in arms were still there as it’s not fair to expect newborns to be separated for so long. It’s the brides issue if she can’t see why you would struggle with this and something she may come to understand herself if she chooses to have children.

I think your only option is to speak to the bride openly. Personally I wouldn’t call a 10 month old babe in arms as they’d need a high chair etc really. Seems unreasonable that there’s no local accommodation, I’ve never been to a wedding where you didn’t stay at least a short walk away.

Why don’t you try to get a hotel closer to the venue? I feel like since it’s her wedding she shouldn’t have to accommodate you in ways that she obviously doesn’t want too. I get that it sucks but it’s her day and just because what she wants probably isn’t fair to mothers like you it’s what she wants and asking her to make an exception is kinda selfish since it’s her fairytale day honestly.

To be honest I feel your anxiety around breastfeeding as a mum who also currently EBF though your child will be 10 months therefore will be also on food and can drink little amount of water. Do they not take from a bottle/ sippy cup? Can you not express. I went to a wedding last year (5 months pregnant) where a toddler was walking up and down the isle and also interrupted the first dance (dancing right up close to the couple) so I completely understand why your friend has decided to have a child free wedding. I think you’d regret not going personally yes, especially as it’s a close friend and you’re bridesmaid. It’s a day. Let your husband have the babies, like others have said can he go out for the day close by so you can have your full attention on the wedding and your friend.

Hi @Danielle, this must be really stressful & causing you worry so I hope you’re able to find a solution soon. I’m also bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding later this year when my daughter will be 9m old. Back when I was invited (January) I straight away booked a hotel room for my mum close by (I have a room at the venue). My friend is happy to have my daughter dip in & out of the wedding. Basically my mum having her away from the ceremony, speeches & any other time a crying or shouting baby wouldn’t be ideal. My mum will also stay in the room with her once she’s down so we can enjoy the evening & she’ll get a taxi back to her hotel after. My friend doesn’t have children herself but was still understanding & accommodating. Try talking to her as soon as possible & have another look for accommodation nearby so your husband can be there with your children. I really hope you’re able to find a way to enjoy your friend’s wedding without the worry of leaving your children. I get it ☺️